Page 284 of The Heart You Kept

“He never told me that.”

He smiles wistfully. “Charlotte is like you, it brings her closer to the memory of her late mother and connects the two of them, but for me, I guess it grounds me.” He thinks for a moment. “You can have everything in the world, but if you don’t feel grounded and calm, then you have nothing.”

“True.” I lean back over and keep weeding. “I wish I could get Edward to garden, I think it would be good for him. He needs to chill out.”

“Trust me, I’ve tried everything over the years.” He keeps snipping. “Ever since his mother was murdered he has never been the same.”

I glance up. “She was murdered?”

He twists his lips as if contemplating his next words. “She was run off the road by another car. That car has never been found.”

I stare at him, shocked to my core.

“I blame myself.”

“Why?”

“It was the one day she went out alone and I knew she shouldn’t be driving around without her guards with her but she was sick of having no privacy so I….” His voice trails off.

“Oh.” I go back to weeding. “You can’t blame yourself for that.” I think as I keep working. “Did they ever find who did it?”

“No. But it was premeditated.”

“How do you know?”

“A fake road detour had been put up, she was ambushed and didn’t stand a chance. She died because of me…because of who I am.”

I stare over at his sad face as he keeps snipping and I can feel the deep-seated heartbreak that he’s lived with.

“Is that why Edward is so hung up on security?” I ask.

“Yes.” He nods. “He’s so hung up on protecting everybody. Charlotte wore it the worst, he was unbearable with her before she married.” He glances over to me. “I’m assuming he put you through a lot before you started formally dating?”

“Why do you say that?” I keep weeding so that he keeps talking.

“He’s always been terrified that his love will be a target too. I imagine he would have pushed you away to try and protect you.”

Oh….

A piece of the Edward Prescott puzzle falls into place…this is why he’s like this.

“In his mind, control means safety.” He keeps snipping. “The more he controls people, the safer they will be. The more distance he has from people, the safer they will be.”

I look over at him as he snips away and my heart breaks for my beautiful man.

“I’m not sure if you know this or not, but Edward has been in therapy for years to try and heal his demons.”

“I did know that.” I go back to weeding. “How….” I try to articulate my thoughts. “How do I help him through this?”

“You love him through his flaws.” He smiles sadly over at me. “But watching you two together, I know that you already accept his scars and love him unconditionally.”

His silhouette blurs and I get a lump in my throat. He’s been through so much.

“I love his scars.” I smile. “Every last one of them.”

“Yah.” A loud voice echoes from the distance and I look up to see Edward and Charlotte are on horseback, sprinting as they race across the paddock and up into the hills.

“You need to learn how to ride.” He smiles as he watches them disappear.