Page 10 of The Heart You Kept

“This is not working.”

“Stop.” I stand too. “We’ve gone to all this trouble to get here and we are obviously attracted to each other so what’s the point of not seeing where it goes?”

“I know where it goes and it doesn’t go there,” he spits angrily.

It suddenly dawns on me, he’s nervous. This is out of the norm for him too.

“So show me where it does go.” I gesture to the couch. “Sit down and…try and relax.” I take the glass out of his hand and go to the bar; I refill it and hand it back over. “Drink this one hundred percent alcohol,” I instruct him. “Although I think it’s illegal to drink this in most countries.” I take a shaky sip and I feel it burn all the way down. “But in a Swiss sex kink club I guess anything goes.”

His eyes hold mine and I know he’s only seconds from leaving.

“Sit down please, Mr. Doe,” I whisper. “Don’t go.”

He hesitates before finally taking a seat on the couch and we fall silent again.

I have no idea what’s going through his head.

“I don’t like that you’re doing this only because you are being forced,” he says.

“I’m not being forced. I wanted to fulfill my friend’s wishes, and to be honest now that I’ve met you—” I sip my drink as I try to muster up my courage, “—I think it will be very enjoyable to spend some time naked with you.”

He gives me a slow sexy smile and sits back in his chair. “I’m a lot to take on.”

There is no air in my lungs.

None.

I shrug, feeling like he’s warning me.

“You said you were attracted to me?” I whisper.

“Don’t act like you can’t feel it.”

We stare at each other, the magnetic pull toward him is so strong that I can hardly fight it.

Suddenly I just want the awkward fear gone. I want to get this over with.

Whatever this is.

“What happens now in a place like this?” I ask nervously.

His eyes hold mine.

“I’ve never been in a situation like this.” I begin to babble on. “Do we date? Do we small talk? Do we eat dinner?” My eyes search his as I beg him to take control. “What do I do?”

“You take your clothes off,” he says.

“What?”

“You said you want me to show you where it does go?”

“I did.”

“Then do as I say. Take. Your. Clothes. Off.”

My eyes widen.

“Now.”