Page 102 of Stanton Unconditional

I scratch my head in frustration. “No, I mean I think they have an open relationship.”

He nods and our drinks arrive. He tastes the wine. “That’s fine,” he says quietly after tasting it.

“What’s with the sudden interest in Abbs?”

He shrugs. “Just curious.” His eyes lift to meet mine and he raises his eyebrows in defiance.

“Joshua, Abbie is a really great friend to me. I don’t care how many men she sleeps with. It has nothing to do with me.”

“I thought that too but after her little appointment for you yesterday I’m not so sure.”

I put my head on its side in frustration. “You’re still on that.”

He frowns. “Yes, I’m still on that, it’s not easy to forget,” he snaps angrily.

“Ok, let me ask you this. How was the VIP Room on Friday night? Did you get laid like you wanted to?”

“No,” he snaps.

“Why not?”

“Because I had you on my mind and they were a very poor substitute. That’s why,” he sneers angrily.

I smile broadly at him. The waitress comes back over to us. “Can I take your order?”

I smile and gesture to Joshua.

“I will have the soft shell chili crab for starter and spaghetti marinara for main,” he says quietly.

“Mmm, that sounds good. I will have the same.” I smile at him across the table and he frowns in question.

“What are you smiling at?” he asks as the waitress leaves us. I shrug and hold out my hand for him. He takes it gingerly.

“I’m just glad to be here with you, that’s all.”

“Tash, don’t overthink this, it’s just dinner.”

I nod and put my head down as my cheeks heat. “Joshua, we need to talk.”

“No, we don’t, leave it,” he sighs.

“I need you to know what was in my head last time you saw me,” I whisper.

“I know what was in your head, Natasha.”

“Have you been with Amelie since you went back to Ameri- ca?” I ask nervously.

He shakes his head. “No, I haven’t.” “Why not?” I ask.

“Because I don’t have feelings that way for Amelie. I told you that.” He shakes his head in frustration.

“You see, Josh, I wanted to give you the chance to explore if you did. I thought that you were with me out of guilt and deep down you really loved Amelie. I was setting you free so that you could choose who you wanted, unencumbered from past emotions.”

He sits back angrily. “What a load of shit,” he snaps.

“It’s true. baby. Think about this from my angle. I pursued you last time, it was me who chased you, me who called you. I had to bribe you with sex to be monogamous with me, I kept telling you to stop thinking and just feel. And then I told you I loved you and you didn’t say it back, not until you found out that I hadn’t slept with anyone else. I know that you felt guilty that I had saved myself for you and you felt that you owed me. I had loved you unconditionally, Josh, from a distance for so long and I knew you had a connection with Amelie.” I drop my head as tears threaten. “I felt it in the barn that day,” I whisper.

“Natasha…I loved you,” he whispers as he leans forward in his seat.