Page 130 of Stanton Adore

He closes his eyes as if in pain. “Presh, I love you. Of course I wanted to put your needs before mine. I saw you with those little girls on the weekend and I know you will be a great mother. I couldn’t take that from you. You did the same for me, remember, when you were seventeen.”

I roll onto my back and tears run into my ears. “Josh, I put myself through self-inflicted torture. You have no idea the amount of remorse and guilt I felt. It nearly killed me, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

He lies silent as he stares at the ceiling. “Do you want to know what I did after I kicked that girl out of my car around the corner the other night?” I nod and roll onto my side to face him.

“I ran on the treadmill for six hours, had a fight with Cameron and crashed my car.”

I frown. “Why in the hell did you have a fight with Cameron?”

“Because he told me I was a gutless prick and deep down I knew he was right and then he told me you were too good for me anyway. I just snapped. I couldn’t help myself. We got into an argument and he told me to marry a stripper, seeing that’s all I deserve. I disgust myself.” He puts the back of his forearm over his eyes.

I put my hands over my face. “Josh,” I whisper. “Have you seen him since?”

“Yeah, we made up late last night, but the guilt I felt knowing you would be heartbroken this morning had me going insane and, he’s right, I don’t deserve you. Everything he said was completely true.” He goes silent. “Tash, please don’t let me mess this up. I can’t explain it, but it fucks with my head big-time knowing I depend on one person so much for my happiness.”

I smile a sad smile. “I feel it too, Josh, and you’re right, I depend on you for my happiness. So, man up and make me happy, dickhead.” He growls and rolls me onto my back as he holds my hands above my head.

“You just got yourself a ticket,” he smiles into my neck.

I giggle. “To where?” I ask too sweetly.

“Pound Town,” he smirks as he bites me hard.