Page 122 of Stanton Adore

I smile a big smile at him. “You big dope, why didn’t you tell me? I will get you some aspirin.” I jump up and return with a glass of water and his tablets and he pulls me down onto his lap and cuddles tightly.

“Bed, baby,” I demand. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

As I lie in bed four hours later, I am achingly aware that Josh is wide awake next to me thinking about something. I can hear his mind ticking from here. Something has happened today, something that has upset him. Maybe he spoke to his mother on the phone and is upset about it or maybe his friends didn’t like me. I don’t think that is it, though. I can’t put my finger on it but being a psychologist sucks sometimes. I wish I couldn’t read people so well or try to analyze why they are thinking so much. He said he had a headache, and I should just believe him. Unfortunately, a tiny voice deep down in the pit of my stomach is telling me something is seriously wrong with my beautiful man and it’s a problem that he doesn’t want to share with me. Maybe tomorrow will bring new light.

I woke alone this morning, no note left from Josh and it is now four o’clock in the afternoon and I haven’t heard from him at all today, which is very unusual. He hasn’t left while I slept since we started seeing each other seriously and it has left me feeling uneasy all day. I called him to see if his headache was alright, but he didn’t answer or call me back. He has usually called me at least a couple of times or texted me long before this. I walk outside to my car in between my patients to try and find Max. I find him sitting in the park.

“Hi, Max.”

He smiles and nods. “Hi, Natasha.”

“I was wondering if you know if Joshua is at work today.”

He looks uncomfortable. “I believe so, ma’am.” He nods. Hmm, what in the hell does that mean? He’s obviously not sick, yet he hasn’t called me back. Maybe he’s getting cold feet about our relationship. I try to calm my nerves and the sick feeling in my stomach. I hate depending on someone so much and we have come too far to be playing games now.

“Thank you, Max.” I march back inside with renewed purpose and ring Adrian who answers on the first ring.

“Hi, Tash.”

“Hi,” I snap. “Can you put Joshua on the phone, please?”

He stays silent and after a minute whispers, “Sure, baby, I will get him.” I hear him hold his hand over the phone and walk into Josh’s office. “It’s for you.”

Then I hear Josh’s angry voice snap, “Stanton.” I stay silent as I listen to the anger in his voice. What in the hell is going on with him?

“Josh, it’s me.”

He inhales and I can hear he’s shocked that I have tricked him by ringing Adrian’s phone.

His voice softens. “Hi precious, are you OK, baby?” He’s not angry with me, I can hear it in his voice.

“What’s going on? Why haven’t you called me back?” He stays silent. “Josh, I asked you a question. Answer it.”

“Natasha, I’m very busy. I can’t talk.”

“Don’t you dare very busy me. What the fuck is going on?” He stays silent and I know I have shocked him with my screaming anger. “What time are you coming over tonight?” I ask. Again, silence. OK, I am getting seriously pissed off now. Who in the hell does he think he is? “Answer my question.”

“Tash, I have to work tonight, I’m not coming over.” Now it is my turn to stay silent. He doesn’t want to see me—my stomach drops. “Tash, just…just know that I love you and I only want what’s best for you, OK.” I frown, he’s talking riddles. What is that supposed to mean?

“What’s best for me, Josh, is to not be away from you.” “That’s debatable,” he whispers.

“Just come over when you finish work and we can work it out baby, OK?”

I can hear him thinking. “Bye, Tash.” And he hangs up the phone.

It’s twelve o’clock and I am wide awake, heartsick but awake. Joshua hasn’t called me or come over and I am beginning to think the worst. If I wasn’t waiting for him to come over, I would be driving around spying on him. Where is he? What is he doing? And what has changed so dramatically between us that he can’t talk to me and tell me what’s going on? I hear the key in my door, and I lie still with my heart trying to pump through my chest. He came. He fusses around in the kitchen for a few minutes and I hear him put his keys and wallet on the side table. I’m not angry anymore, I’m

freaking out. I don’t want to be a drama queen, but my gut feeling is that something is seriously off between us. He walks over to the side of the bed and turns the side lamp on. I lie still as I watch him, unable to pretend that he hasn’t upset me. He gives me a sad smile and bends to gently kiss me on the lips as he brushes the hair back from my face and sits next to me.

“Hi, my beautiful girl,” he whispers.

That is all it takes and I grab him into a tight embrace. “Josh, please talk to me, you promised me honesty.”

He nods. “I know, Presh.” I frown. He bends and gently kisses me again, his tongue lingering in my mouth. “I love you,” he whispers. “That’s the honest truth, does that count for anything?”

Tears fill my eyes. “Are you mad at me, Josh? Have I done something to upset you?”

He smiles at me. “No, baby, you have done nothing wrong. Stop worrying. I’m here now.”