Page 5 of Formaldehyde

Once I reach the lower abdomen, I move back up to the chest to cut two more incisions across Jacob’s collar bone to create a perfect Y shape across his body. Once I’m happy with my work, I place the bloodied scalpel down onto the metal tray and grab a pair of forceps and slip them in between the open folds of the skin. It takes a bit of force to get them fully inside but I manage just fine.

“Excellent work, Ethan. The incisions are very clean.” Mr Wilson complements my work and a flicker of pride blooms in my chest. He continues to scribble notes across the paper that’s attached to his clipboard whilst I make a start on pulling the skin away from the meat. Pink sinew and white marbling like an aged steak is slowly revealed as I pull at the tough skin of the corpse’s chest, splaying him open like a newspaper.

Beads of sweat begin to gather across my brows and I lift my arm to swipe it away before making a start on cracking open Jacob’s ribs. With each snap and slice of flesh, images of my dad quickly take over Jacob’s corpse. I can see him clear as day, lying on the table as I shred him apart, pulling at his yellowing skin to reveal his toxic insides. His liver is black and wrinkly from the years of excessive drinking, and the urge to stab it until foamy bile pours out of it is almost too strong for me to deny. He screams and begs for me to end his life, but what about all the times I begged him? To put an end to my suffering, to just stop.. hurting me.

“Ethan?”

I can’t breathe.

“Ethan, is everything alright?” Mr Wilson’s concern breaks the dark vision and I drop the tools back onto the table, my gaze focused solely on the rib cage in front of me.

I can’t remember the last time I had an episode like this, where my body was frozen in time but my mind continued to haunt me with nightmares of my past. Completely paralysed in fear.

“I.. I’m alright.” I mumble. “Can I just have a minute, then I’ll get right back to it?”

Mr Wilson looks at me with a bucket load of concern in his eyes and I’m desperate to run away from it. To climb back into that black hole where I know I’ll be safe from other people. To curl into my sister’s embrace and feel her heart beating against my face.

“Of course, son. I’ll continue here, just come back in when you’re ready.”

I can see the questions he wants to ask, to dig deeper inside of me but I won’t let him. I won’t let anyone, except for Alina.

Ripping the gloves from my hands, I chuck them into the yellow bin and shove my way through the door and stride into the cloak room, all the while my chest is threatening to cave in from the panic I can feel rising in my throat. The moment I’m inside the room, I head straight for the small bathroom and turn on the tap at the sink to release the cold water. Immediately it floods through the old pipes and I shove my hands underneath the freezing stream, allowing the sensation to ground me.

Keeping my hands under the cold water, I stare at my reflection in the mirror but I don’t see myself. Instead, a small boy with floppy black hair and bruised eyes stares right back at me. Purple and red blotches cover his eye sockets, a trail of blood from his busted nose begins to seep down over his top lip.

“You’re a fucking freak. Your mother should have swallowed you.”

My dad’s voice stabs into my ears like blunt blades and I can feel my back teeth crumble to dust from how hard I’m tensing my jaw. Anger like thick tar floods my bloodstream for the little boy staring back at me. I couldn’t protect him from my fathers wrath, but I can protect my little sister.

I’ll protect her from everything this wretched world has to throw at us. She’ll never feel the hurt like I did.

Turning my face away from the mirror, I sever the connection and turn the tap off, then move onto drying my hands before pulling out my phone from my pocket to quickly find my sister’s contact.

Me: You’re okay, aren’t you?

I hit send on the message and wait for her reply, my body jittering with unease. I just need to know that she’s okay. That she’s safe and I haven’t let her down. Three little dots bounce across the screen for a couple of seconds before her reply arrives.

Little Sister: Yeah, I’m fine. Why are you asking? Has something happened?

A smile pulls at my face at her concern for me. I wonder if she’s still thinking about my threats from this morning. I could clearly see through her lies, the way her skin flushed a perfect pink colour at my threat to put her mouth to good use. Alina wants me just as much as I want her, and it’s killing her that she can’t admit it. She’s afraid of what other people will think but I couldn’t give a fuck, I’ve been an outcast my whole life and she’s fucking delirious if she thinks that I won’t just grab her in her sleep and leave this town behind.

We could go wherever we wanted to. Live a life away from this place. I have the money saved, she’d never have to rely on anyone again except for me.

I could give her everything she’s ever wanted.

Dropping my gaze back down to my phone. I type out a quick reply.

Me: Everything is fine, lil sis. You know how much I love to protect you.

I leave her with my words and drop into the guys group chat. There’s only three of us and we’ve been a tight knit group since primary school. We were classed as the freaks of the class, outcasts with nowhere to go.

Luca: You guys heard about Chloe’s halloween party this weekend?

Kieran: Fuck yeah! I’m more than ready to crash that bitches place. Ethan, you in?

A sinister grin pulls at my face at the thought of causing complete chaos at Chloe’s house. Ever since Alina introduced us, I’ve had a bad feeling about her and I fucking hate the way she treats my little sister like some little lap dog, commanding her to do anything she demands. It’s about time someone put her in her place.

My fingers fly across the screen with excitement.