Page 6 of Golden Ruin

Those words leave her mouth, and I swear I’m breathing for the first time since Benny’s call.

My feet move before I can think, trailing behind her, but I remember Lexi’s family and turn. “I’ll text as soon as I lay eyes on him. Promise.”

Benny’s eyes fill with tears when he nods, placing a hand over his heart as the double doors close between us.

Ambient chatter and monitors beeping behind drawn curtains are the soundtrack as we walk. We turn corner after corner, and the time it takes to get to my son feels endless.

But then, I see him.

He looks far too small to be in that bed, and there are too many monitors hooked up to him for my liking, but he’s alive, and that’s all that matters.

Without waiting for the nurse to say it’s okay to enter, I rush into the room, needing to get a closer look at him. And just as I approach the bed, his eyes pop open. That moment… it’s what I needed.

To see the alertness on his face.

To see for myself that he’s okay.

“Daddy?” He shifts on the mattress and right away, tears roll down his cheeks.

“Don’t get up, buddy. You should lie still.”

His chest rises and falls quickly as his breathing kicks up. He’s trying to be strong, but he doesn’t have to be. Not now. Not with me.

I drop down onto the bed, and he’s in my arms the next second. I don’t think I’ve ever squeezed him tighter. Between the smell of smoke clinging to his hair, and the soot staining his face and neck, it’s terrifyingly clear how close I came to losing him tonight.

The panic that had him frantic a moment ago is melting away. It’s a quiet moment that the nurse doesn’t interrupt, although I’m sure she has things to fill me in on regarding his health. But she gives us time, moving around the room in silence, making notes in his chart.

Jax’s arms tighten around my waist as I kiss the top of his hair, more aware than I’ve ever been of his breathing, his heartbeat. But then he asks the one question I can’t answer.

“Where’s Mommy?” His voice is small and trusting.

I swallow, unsure how to answer. “I’m gonna find out. Real soon, okay?”

The nurse steps closer, a dim smile on her face. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

Jax shrugs. “Okay. My throat’s scratchy.”

“Yeah? Do you think some ice chips would help?”

He nods, and she smiles at him.

“Well, let me chat with your dad for a moment, then I’ll run and get you some. Sound good?”

“Okay.”

The nurse’s gaze slips to me, and the smile fades a little. “Would you mind stepping out into the hall with me for a moment?”

That’s the last thing I want to do, but there’s still so much I don’t know.

I turn to Jax. “I’m gonna go with the nurse for a quick minute, then I’ll be right back. That okay with you?”

There’s a moment of hesitation in Jax’s eyes that I don’t miss, but he nods after a few seconds. His arms slip from around me, but his stare doesn’t leave me as I exit the room, making sure to stay in his line of sight.

“You’re very lucky,” the nurse says, and those words land hard.

Because I know she’s one-hundred percent right.

“Everything checks out, so he doesn’t need to be admitted, but he’s pretty shaken up.”