Page 27 of Golden Ruin

How terrible did I look when he came in?

After bathing last night, I was exhausted and just put on the white tank and baggy basketball shorts Mom slipped into the bag. It’s fine, I guess. Maybe a little low-effort, but it is what it is.

I frown when I realize what I’m doing, pausing midway through my self-evaluation.

Seriously, who gives a fuck what I’m wearing? Or how bad I look? I’m just waking up, and it’s… Sterling.

Shaking my head at my weirdness, I yawn and stretch on the soft sheets. It isn’t until I push a hand through my hair that I remember how many inches I lost. It took me until nearly midnight to get up the nerve to finally chop it but, thanks to Sterling, it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be.

Somehow, he made the moment feel lighter. Never in a million years would I have imagined myself laughing through such a fucked-up situation. Yeah, there were a few tears as strands fell down my arms to the floor, but I don’t hate the result. And whether I want to admit it or not, Sterling had a little something to do with my night not ending in tears.

I open my phone to more missed texts than I have the emotional bandwidth to answer. So, naturally, I open the group chat with the girls first.

Blue: Just checking in, Lex. Did you get any sleep?

Dez: Let us know if you need anything.

Joss: I know you’re still processing, but you’re not in this alone. Call if you need to talk.

Jules: I say we have a girls’ night in as soon as you’re ready, babe.

I read through all their messages, including Scar closing out the thread with a simple heart emoji, and a smile touches my lips. They’re so sweet to check in, but they also know me, know I’m overwhelmed right now.

Lexi: All good for now. Miss you guys too, so getting together soon is a must. Besides, I need my girls’ input on the new haircut lol

Scar: Haircut?

Lexi: Yep. The fire started it, Sterling took care of the rest.

While watching dots dance beside Dez’s name, I sniff the air. That’s definitely bacon I’m smelling.

Dez: Oh? Baby Daddy’s a stylist now, too? Interesting…

Blue: Wait! This just made me tear up, and I’m one-hundred-percent blaming it on pregnancy, but OMG! That’s so sweet!!

I roll my eyes, smiling a little.

Lexi: Ok, simmer down, ladies.

They’re still going, but I close out the chat because I need to get my day started. I stop at Matt’s name next, though, aware of how I’m smiling a little bigger as I open his message.

Matt: So… at the risk of freaking you out, I’m just going to say it. I miss you. Think your folks would mind me stopping by today?

My smile fades at the realization that he has zero idea I’m crashing at Sterling’s. Which, yay for me, means we get to have that fun conversation now. I scoot to the edge of the mattress and sit upright to clear my head. The softness of the rug beneath my feet is the first thing I feel, but then my leg nudges something to my right. I glance down, confused.

It’s a huge gift bag. One of several I hadn’t noticed until now.

I reach for the large pink one first, shocked by the amount of clothing folded inside, almost spilling over the top. I pull out one piece after another. Name brand athletic wear, jeans, t-shirts, two hoodies.

I set it down and look inside the next. Underwear, bras, socks.

“What the hell?”

My mouth’s hanging open as I grab the smaller purple bag. It’s filled to the brim with expensive soaps, lotions, four bottles of perfume, bottles of the same hair products I’ve been using since high school.

Brands I’m guessing Sterling hasn’t forgotten.

A tear slips down my cheek as I scan a pile of sneaker boxes next, stacked four high. Leaned against them, a laptop still in the box with a message stuck to the side that reads…