Page 126 of Golden Ruin

He promised to make time to chat at the end of the day when I approached him about it this morning. Now, as I stand beside his office door, watching him wrap things up with Annie at the front counter, I wish I could just text what I need to say.

Only, I wouldn’t sleep tonight knowing I didn’t do this the right way. A few minutes of discomfort in exchange for peace of mind feels worth it.

I take out my phone because I need to focus on something else. So, I scroll through my notifications. An email from Jax’s school about Family Night, a reminder about an upcoming subscription renewal, and a pic from Dez of their oldest daughter polishing Ricky’s nails. I’m smiling at the image, texting back when someone tags me in a post.

Historically speaking, being tagged on social media doesn’t mean anything good for those of us who Pandora has been tormenting our entire lives. So, my heart immediately drops to my stomach. But it isn’t until a few seconds later, as I’m staring at headlines from every gossip account known to man that I realize the reaction was completely warranted.

NFL Superstar Calling an Audible with His Ex?

Family Man Comeback Era.

I read a few more titles, then lower my phone when I see something about me being Sterling’s side chick during his engagement.

“Shit.”

My eyes dart around as my heart begins to race. I feel like everyone’s seen it, like everyone’s judging, but I manage to convince myself it’s mostly paranoia.

Matt smiles at Annie as he hands her a file, then starts this way. I was already nervous, but now I’m completely disoriented, trying to figure out where this is all coming from and why things are suddenly spiraling out of control.

“Sorry about the wait. Annie needed me to clear something up in my paperwork from this morning. Still want to talk?”

I’m not sure how to answer that.

“I’m… we… I just…”

His brow creases as he watches me stammer. “My office,” he says, touching my arm lightly to usher me that way. He follows me inside, then closes the door to give us a bit of privacy, but I don’t sit. I can’t. My nerves are frayed.

“Is everything okay?”

I had this all planned out. Granted, I didn’t write a speech or anything, but I had a general idea of how this should go. But now? Now, I’m too in my head, imagining how the world is dissecting these headlines, the stories filled with nothing but speculation and lies.

I’m certain of it because no one’s been on this journey but Sterling and me.

“It feels like we started a conversation the other day, and it ended without there being any real conclusion. So… I think it’s time we–”

My thought is interrupted by Matt’s phone sounding off. “One sec.”

While he checks it, I take a moment to breathe, gathering my thoughts, preparing to start again. But when my phone goes off right after his, I know. I don’t know what it is, who it’s from, but I know it’s bad. I can feel it in my gut.

Matt scrolls, lowering into his seat without lifting his eyes. I finally get up the nerve to look at my phone, hands shaking when I see we’ve all been tagged by Pandora—me, Sterling, Matt… Tiffany.

First, I read the words: “No caption needed. These pics are worth a thousand words.”

Then, I see what Matt sees. A succession of photos from the park. Sterling and me sitting on the bench while Jax plays in the background.

His fingers lightly curling into the ends of my hair.

His thumb brushing against my shoulder.

Me looking at him with my feelings on full display.

The quick forehead kiss.

I feel winded, like the world is closing in around me. The pics are far from explicit, but they’re telling, intimate in a way that makes it very clear that we’ve shifted into something else. I feel Matt’s eyes on me but can’t meet his gaze. I’m not ashamed, but I’m definitely embarrassed, worried he’ll think I strung him along.

“Wow. Guess that answers my question.”

I finally peer up. And if I had to guess what he’s feeling by that look on his face, devastated is the word I’d choose.