Page 77 of Mercy & Malice

“Are you even interested in ever having sex with me?” I ask, witnessing his discomfort increase with every second that ticks by. “Just be honest.”

I shield my nude body as I get off the bed and search for my T-shirt.

He stoops down, grasping my arms before he clutches them to his chest and I’m forced to meet his gaze as he tells me, “Yes. I just don’t want to have sex with you in a random bed at a goddamn house party after you’ve been drinking.”

I understand what he’s saying, but we’ve been in his bed and mine while sober plenty of times. Being sober or in someone else’s bed isn’t the issue tonight.

“Okay.” I grab my clothes and go towards the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”

When I enter the bathroom, I lean against the door for a few seconds as reality hits me. Part of me is glad he stopped. I don’t want our first time to be in some random person’s bedroom either. But I almost just want to get it over with. That isn’t how I’m supposed to feel. But I do.

Once I freshen up and get dressed, I exit the bathroom to find him waiting on the edge of the bed. He stands and walks over to me. His arms wrap around me as he leans in and gives me a slow, patient kiss. It feels exactly how it should. I just want more.

42

BROOKE

I had to tell the Sullivans I couldn’t stay with Aurora again, and it’s crushing me. But I cannot risk her safety. Luca said he’s still digging around on Julian but isn’t completely confident that he’s one of the Keepers who held us. The sooner we find out, the better. Because I hate keeping it from Micah even if it feels necessary.

“I’ll drive myself to work tomorrow,” I blurt out as Micah exits the bathroom.

He towel dries his hair, moving around his bedroom casually like it’s the most normal and natural thing in the world for us to have a nighttime routine. “I don’t mind.”

When I say, “I do,” he gives me his full attention as I explain. “I had to pass on babysitting again because I didn’t want to risk Aurora’s safety. It’s another thing that I would always do but can’t now. I need as much as my usual, normal routine in my life as possible, and having a personal chauffeur isn’t one of those things.”

“Even if things were different, I’d drive you to work.”

I laugh. “How many times did you drop me off for my shift at Sweet Fleur before?” My question remains unanswered because he realizes I’m making a valid point. “I can’t even wear a sports bra for cheer practice anymore because it puts the brand on my rib cage on full display.”

When I wear my cheer uniform, the mark on my thigh is visible at times but not front and center like the one under my rib cage. The moment I realized I wouldn’t be able to leave the locker room without covering up was difficult. Callie and a few others had questioning stares, but none asked why I felt the need to wear a hoodie. It was the only thing I had with me other than my school uniform. Since then, I’ve brought a T-shirt or tank with me.

Micah opens his mouth to say something but stops. So, I mention the only solution I’ve come up with (other than extra clothing). “I considered getting it covered with a tattoo. But when I called around, they said it would be at least a year before they’d recommend tattooing over burn marks.” A year from now I’ll still be dealing with the aftermath of that cage.

He slowly steps in front of me. His hand entwining in my hair as he presses his lips to my forehead. “You don’t need to cover up your scars. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Easier said than done,” I admit before heading into the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a moment to get control of my emotions.

When I step out, Micah’s on the phone but ends the call when he sees me.

“Who was that?”

“Luca.”

He doesn’t elaborate so I ask, “Did he have something?”

“No. Just checking in.” He’s lying. I can tell by the way his shoulders tense when he said it. But how can I be mad? I am too. Omission of the truth is still a lie.

“Do you want to watch TV? We don’t have to if it’ll keep you up.”

He walks over to his nightstand and picks up the remote. “New Girl?”

“Yes, please,” I respond, loving that he knows my comfort show.

We get in bed and get settled as I stare at the screen. When I look up to him, he’s watching me. He leans in, giving me a soft, tender kiss before I whisper, “I’m sober.”

His fingertips trail along my jaw as his eyes follow along. “You’re beautiful.”

When he finally meets my gaze, I see the reluctance is still there. He’s worried, and I get it. But I’m beyond ready for the next step for many reasons.