Page 40 of Mercy & Malice

There’s a crashing noise; it was me ramming into the dresser as he hauled me around, his hold on my hair never faltering.

Dad used his free hand to shove my mother towards their bed as he yells, “Pull your pants down, bitch.”

“No, no, no,” I scream, my hands covering my ears as I stoop down. But the images and sounds of that night swarm around me.

There’s a strong clasp on my wrists as I struggle to block out my dad’s words. “This is your fault for being a fucking brat and her fault for being a fucking cunt.”

The nightmare won’t stop playing in my head, the scenes so vivid. Dad yelling for me to make a choice. Mom reassuring me that it’ll be okay. She didn’t say it, but she motioned to the belt, mouthing that it’s okay as I cried and said belt.

That’s when he grabbed the belt, his left hand staying in my hair while he whipped her over and over until her skin was covered in welts and bleeding. Only then did he stop.

“Brooke,” Micah’s voice breaks through as he gets me to my feet. I still hear the roars of my father. How do they have a recording of it? Why are they doing this to me? No one knew about it. How do they? Why didn’t anyone stop him? Or arrest him afterwards? He’s still free with zero consequences. Mom swore that was the final straw and we’d leave soon, but I’ve heard that so many times, I never believed it for a second.

Once Micah and I reach the main platform, I cautiously remove my hands from my ears. The recording finally stopped, but Micah is livid and yelling at me.

When I walk up to Ivy, all I can think is how much I would rather be anywhere else except here. “I hate this fucking game.”

“Same.” She pauses before she asks, “What did you hear?”

Does Ivy know about my dad? “Nothing.”

Micah yells, “Nothing sounded a lot like your goddamn father.”

I don’t want to do this. I tuck my arms tight across my chest. “It was fake.”

“Was it?” he asks, not waiting for an answer before he continues shouting.

Ivy plainly asks, “Does he hit you, Brooke?”

“No.” Why am I still lying? Why am I crying? I hate this game.

Micah yells, “I’m gonna murder the bastard.”

No. He can’t confront him. “No, it’ll make it worse for my mom. Please don’t.”

There’s so much rage in his face that I worry he won’t be able to control himself. “I heard it, Brooke. He gave you a choice between watching your mother be beaten or raped. And he made you fucking watch.”

I’m unable to deny it, because I’m reliving it again in my mind.

“He hits you too.” Micah’s jaw clenches before he says, “And pulls your hair. That’s why you were so fucking scared.”

“No. He was just drunk that night. That’s not normal.” No shit, Brooke. It’s not normal at all. It’s hopeless. Clearly, he doesn’t believe me as he storms off. But how can I tell him that the most humiliating and scariest nights of my life is real and there are plenty more instances to go along with it.

I almost think his mental abuse is worse. Because it never stops hurting. Every time my mother says my middle name, or I write it, I remember his snicker, “Ask her why your middle name is Elise.” Before I could even think about his question, he explained, “Brooke Elise Guidry. BEG. Because the bitch had to beg me to get her pregnant.”

Ivy brings me out of the cruel memory when she says, “It was my mom screaming. I don’t understand who would do that. It’s sick.”

The game makers don’t need their head examined; they are clearly evil and insane. “Agreed. It’s like they’re in our heads. And we’re supposed to walk away, never talk about it, and pretend it never happened when Mercy is over. Now I understand why. Who would sign up for this shit willingly?”

She answers, “Not me.”

I never would’ve had I truly known what was ahead.

“Remy just tied the blindfold. Now they have to make it back.” Then it’s over and we can get the hell out of here.

Ivy tells me, “If you ever need a place to crash or escape, you can stay with me.”

“Thanks.” The guilt I keep shoving away resurfaces because I’ve done nothing but lie to her since we’ve met. And she’s offering me a safe haven away from my hell.