Page 33 of Savage Salvation

“You should go.” My hand stays in his, his thumb tenderly stroking my skin.

“Come with me. We can grab a bite to eat. You can stay at my place. I won’t touch you unless you ask me to.”

Would he actually keep his word? Something inside me whispers yes, but there’s no way I can say that word to him, not when we’re already hanging from a crumbling ledge that I’m barely clinging to.

“I have to work.”

“I’ll wait. The store closes in an hour.”

“I have rehearsal afterwards.” Why am I telling him this? Not that he probably doesn’t know already since he’s in the middle of everything.

“You can skip one night.”

“No, I can’t.” Cruz wants to rehearse a new song so we can add to the lineup. And even so, I’m not canceling on them to take a ride on the delirious train with Gage.

“Then we’ll go eat after that.” Blunt. Nonchalant. Like it’s not up for discussion. The decision has been made.

“You don’t get it. I’m not going to sit across a table from you and chat happily over burgers, and I sure as hell won’t be staying at your house.” My voice rises until I practically scream out the last word.

Yet, all he does is stand there, his stubborn, unyielding expression still in place. “You know the truth. You felt it this morning. Keep fighting it. But you know you belong to me.”

“No, I don’t. It was just sex. That’s it. I used you. You used me. It meant nothing then and nothing now. You are nothing to me. And I want nothing from you. So, get the fuck out of my sight and out of my life. Now.” Because it will come at a price. Why had I thought this could be simple? I can handle sex with him—the physical part, the pleasure, his touch. But that’s it. Sex. Not sharing a meal. Not staying at his place. Because those are things you do with people you care about, with friends … or someone who’s more than a friend. Not someone who inflicts pain just for fun.

I anticipate his temper flaring. His wrath to arise at any second. But it never comes. The calm, deliberate step he takes in my direction is more worrisome than him flipping his lid. His determined but smooth tone is even more shocking. “All you have to do is trust me. All you have to do is let me catch you because I won’t ever let you fall again once you do.”

There’s a sincerity, a genuineness in his words like he actually wants something other than to plummet into the pits of hell and pull me along with him. But I can’t let myself fully believe it.

The sound of the bell chiming above the entrance signals Isaac walking in. His eyes land on Gage before dropping to the floor as he shakes his head and walks straight to the studio, slamming the door behind him.

The move makes me want to punch Isaac in the nose because he has no idea what he’s seeing, and if it’d been up to me, Gage wouldn’t be standing here right now, saying some bullshit promise that holds no weight. Just empty words. That’s all. “Like the last time I trusted you? Only to find you helping Ryan throw all my belongings in a burn pile.”

“Kinsley, I was a stupid kid. He told me you’d ruined his life and you had to leave. I thought if you didn’t have anything left, you’d have to stay. So I helped him, because the thought of you leaving scared me more than any consequence I’d face from going along with him.”

“Everything, Gage. Everything I owned. Every fucking thing I had left of my mother. And I will never forgive you for it.”

“That’s the day.”

The agony in his voice pisses me off. He hurt me and has never once felt remorse a day in his life. “What fucking day?”

“The only day I’ve ever walked away from something I wanted, someone I needed. It’s the day you told me to stay away from you. It was the last time I’ve seen you cry. I knew I’d done something that was unforgivable because the only other time you’d ever cried was at your mom’s funeral. So for years … I left you alone. I left you alone as long as I could. But once I had my arms around you, felt you against me. I couldn’t let you go again.” He steps in front of me, his thumbs stroking over my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Kinsley Grace.”

All the memories rise to the surface, and I know if I don’t break away from this, from him, I won’t be able to keep my emotions under control. “I don’t need you, and I won’t ever trust you.” Jerking away from his tender touch, I hold on to my anger as I step past him and hurry to the rehearsal room, slip inside and shut the door behind me. I don’t look at Isaac, but he’s ignoring me anyways, so that’s fine. All I want to do is get lost in music. It’s truly the only time I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be.

25

Gage

“What happened?” Memphis asks from beside me.

It’s the first time he’s said anything since stepping foot in my house over an hour ago, finding me in the gym, my bare fists pounding against a punching bag.

“Nothing.” That word came out of her mouth plenty of times.

“Something happened. You were good, actually happy when you dropped my ass off at home. Did something happen when you met with Walter?”

I don’t respond.

“Kinsley?”