Page 63 of Fueled Hate

My eyes fall to her bare thighs that have held my attention since she walked out of her bedroom dressed in a pair of jean shorts yesterday. Her head turns, catching me watching her.

“What’s wrong?”

She turns away, looking out the window as she mutters, “Nothing.”

“Yeah. You’re perfectly fine.” Sarcasm should get her going but it doesn’t. “Sadie.”

“How do you do it?” she whispers, slowly turning to look at me. “How can you keep going back?”

The Dome. I’d witnessed her panicked reaction at the place she’d lost her mother, and now we’re heading to the place where my brother died. “My anger is stronger than my grief.”

“I couldn’t do it. I’ve tried, but I can’t go to the place she took her last breath and pretend everything is all right.”

“I didn’t want to see it, but I had to. I had to see the place where he died. It’s fucked up, I know.”

“No. Driving thirty minutes out of the way to a grocery store in the next town over in order to avoid the market down the street from your home is fucked up.”

When she said she hasn’t been there, she meant not at all. I can’t relate to how she’s dealing with her agony. I barrel straight into things headfirst. She hides from what causes her pain … which is why she hides from me. Goddamn it, I don’t want her to hide from me. Reaching over, I place my hand on her thigh and grip firmly.

Her posture stays turned away, but her arm loops around mine, her hand resting on my forearm.

It’s a start. She’s not completely here with me, but she’s not fled to the next town over to avoid me. Yet.

Turning down the dirt road, my hand reluctantly leaves her thigh, downshifting before hastily returning to its rightful place.

As we round the corner, the Dome comes into view. The massive crowd is already larger than last week. For the first time, I’m thankful to not be racing because, as Bryce has repeatedly and annoyingly reminded me, my head isn’t in the right place. I doubt it will be by tomorrow night, but that won’t stop me from getting on the track again.

Blaring music drowns out the chatter from the crowd as we make our way to where Parker and Willow are standing near the launch area.

Parker immediately nods, motioning me over as we step to the side. “Racing tonight?”

“No.”

He glances quickly to Sadie before looking back to me, leaning in. “Everyone’s ready to see you race again, so let me know if you change your mind.”

I nod, even though I know a race tonight isn’t going to happen for me. I’m not here to screw around on a few test runs. Every time I get on this track, I need it to count. I immediately turn my attention back to Sadie and see she’s chatting with Willow. Parker walks over to Willow, gives her a peck on the cheek, then cuts his way through the crowd. Even if the races aren’t official, people are still ready to place bets.

About ten minutes later, Parker calls for the first set of drivers to line up.

Walking to Sadie, I grasp her hand in mine, and we walk to the side of the track. Stopping in front of my car, I lean against the front bumper. Willow and Sadie are still talking as I glance down the track, the image of Noah’s headstone popping in my thoughts. Dropping my head forward, I focus on the uneven pavement as I snake my arm around Sadie’s waist. I gently guide her back to me until my lips touch the smooth skin on her shoulder and her ass rests on my lap.

She looks back, her alluring eyes piercing straight through me as she asks, “Are you all right?”

Fuck no. “Yeah,” I mutter against her skin as I place another soft kiss behind her ear.

Willow clears her throat as she pivots, turning her back to us and stepping to the side, but she doesn’t miss a beat as she continues talking.

The first set of racers barrel down the track, the vibrations throttling my soul. Why is it getting harder every time I’m here? It’s supposed to get easier. Closing my eyes, I breathe her in. Taking a deep breath, I feel some relief until her body tenses.

Opening my eyes, I’m met with the source of her stress when I spot Kyle stomping our way. He’s picked the wrong night. All of my fucked-up emotions—the temper, pain, and anger—are boiling just under the surface, ready to explode. And his face is the only thing that I want to hammer into the fucking ground.

His sorry excuse for a sidekick hurries to push slightly in front of him as he walks up. Kyle’s eyes drop to the arm I have looped around Sadie’s waist before he looks to her. “Didn’t take you long to find a new fuckboy.”

Standing, I shift Sadie to the side, shielding her from whatever I can. “You would’ve actually had to fuck her for that to be true.”

His nostrils flare as he lunges forward, attempting to grab at me as Andrew shoves him back.

That’s right. I know. He didn’t do anything right by her—in bed or otherwise. That much is clear. Rage rises in my chest as I recall how nervous and anxious Sadie had been thinking I was going to make her do something that she didn’t willingly want to offer.