Page 35 of Fueled Hate

“Sadie,” Dad says, stepping behind me, “you’re supposed to be resting.”

“I have class in the morning.”

“Class can wait. You need to relax for a few days, so you can stay here.”

“You want me to stay?”

He gives me a puzzled look before shuffling around the kitchen. “Of course I want you here.”

There’s sincerity in his voice, so it makes every word sound believable, but he still won’t look at me.

“It doesn’t feel that way.” My words are so low, I’m not sure he heard me until he halts.

Slowly turning, he finally looks at me as he says, “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know.” I do but putting it into words at the moment seems impossible. How do I tell him that I understand why he blames me, why he’s so distant? “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Levi blames me, and I understand if you do too.”

His eyes close as his hand covers his face, rubbing across the stubble on his face. He was always clean-shaven when Mom was alive. Finally opening his eyes, he steps in front of me, placing a hand on each of my shoulders. “Sadie, it wasn’t your fault.”

“But—”

“No.” His stern tone cuts me off. “Clay told me what your brother said. Levi was drunk or high, or both, but he knows it’s not your fault. He just wants to blame someone for the pain and him screwing up his life. You’re the easy target, but you are in no way responsible for what happened to your mother.”

“You wouldn’t even look at me, and you barely said a word to me at the hospital. Even before today you’ve seemed distant. It’s okay if you blame me … she was only at the store for my ice cream.” My words fade off as my dad’s hands grip tighter onto my shoulders. I’m not sure what I expected him to do, but I’m astonished when his hands release my shoulders and his arms wrap around them, bringing me against him for a tight hug.

“God, I’m so sorry, Sadie.” He leans back enough to kiss my forehead before squeezing me fiercely again, then shifts back to look at me. “I was scared.”

“What?”

“When Clay called me, I heard the panic in his voice. It scared the shit out of me. Your mom was hard enough … If I lost Levi or you, I’m not sure what I’d do.”

Tears stream down my face as I hug my dad. “I can’t lose you either.”

“You won’t. I just don’t know how to do this.”

“Me either, but we can figure it out. And we need to figure out how to help Levi.” Even if he hates me, I don’t want to see him continue on his path of destruction.

“Yeah, I know. But I’m not so sure there is any helping him.” The defeated look on my dad’s face makes my heart ache. “We’ll talk about it later. Right now, I want you to rest. Doctor’s orders.” Dad points down the hallway to my old bedroom.

“Yes sir.” Agreed. Mainly because I’m too exhausted to argue. Walking into my room, I grab an old pair of pajamas then head to shower. A break from reality sounds nice, but I already know shutting my mind off will be the biggest challenge of all.

20

Dylan

Even annoyed beyond belief, my fingers drum on the bar’s rough wooden surface as my ridiculous best friend belts out “Love Shack.” His captive audience is very high energy and, for reasons beyond me, they are eating up Bryce’s ludicrous dance moves.

“Is he always so shy?” Jett teases, motioning to the current shimming happening across the small makeshift stage.

“Always.”

Bryce goes in for his big finish as Jett chuckles, refilling my Dr. Pepper again before moving down the bar to help out another customer. A new customer, not one that’s been pathetically sitting here moping all evening.

Slapping me on the shoulder, Bryce takes a seat next to me, back against the bar, as he takes a generous swig of his water.