Page 54 of Vicious Titan

35

Elliot

Hopeless.I hear the word and it reverberates through every ounce of my body as she walks away. I fucking hate that word … because it’s true. It was hopeless from the beginning.

My fist slams into the metal door frame as I walk back into my mom’s room. The pain from that is better than the pain from her.

“You need to apologize,” my mom says as I plop down on the stiff couch. “I want her around and I know you do too.”

“Then you don’t know me very well.”

“Yes, I know you pretty good. I know that you’ve been in love with that girl since you first laid eyes on her. It was clear every time I saw you look at her, and it’s still the way you look at her. I begged her not to tell you, to help me protect you. I thought your father wanted me dead. I had no clue it was really Heidi. Victoria lied for me.”

“She lied to me … and I almost lost you again.” Anger. Frustration. Desperation. My emotions overwhelm me now as they did in the moment … the one where I’d once again begged my mom not to leave me. “Why didn’t you say something to me?”

Her hands drop to her lap and her eyes follow, looking away from me. I know she hadn’t wanted to leave me, but I still don’t understand.

“Did you not trust me? Did you think I tried to help Dad off you or something?”

“No. Never. But I didn’t know who I could trust, and rightfully so. Heidi showed up that night, crying and completely fooling me into thinking she was an innocent victim in all of this. She told me she hadn’t known Richard was married when the affair started. She said when Richard found out about the pregnancy, he told her he was married and bailed on her. I was hurt. I was angry. But more than anything, I was sad. Heidi was crying hysterically and started to feel faint. Or, at least, she pretended to. Maybe it was an act. I went to grab her a glass of water, but when I returned, she was gone.

“Your father showed up soon after. I told him it was over. That I wanted a divorce, but he refused. He said he wanted to work our marriage out and that Heidi was a mistake. I told him I was done, to get out, and he finally left the house. He wasn’t even supposed to be in town. He’d told me he had a business trip, but he had planned to stay with her.

“I finished off the bottle of wine I’d been drinking when Heidi had shown up. Next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital, unsure of how I got there and why my wrists were bandaged up. I told the doctors everything. That I didn’t know what happened. That I didn’t try to take my life, but no one seemed to listen. Then I found out the report for the police had been altered. There was nothing in it about Heidi, and it stated Richard was out of town. I thought he had it altered to protect himself.”

It’s a lot of information to take in but I still don’t understand. “But why didn’t you just tell me the truth? I thought you wanted to die. Then when you survived, you didn’t want to see me …” The ache of it all is still there even though I know it’s not the truth. I’d felt it so deeply for so many months, it’s almost too hard to let go of the pain.

“I was worried Richard would try to kill you too. I didn’t want to believe he could possibly do that to you, but I didn’t want to chance it. I just knew that someone slit my wrists, and it wasn’t me. Richard was the last person I saw, he didn’t want a divorce because he didn’t want to lose any shares of Bass Industries. Money has always been his weakness, and I didn’t know what he would do if he was desperate.” She looks to me, tears falling down her cheeks. “I couldn’t put you in danger. I didn’t know who to trust. I couldn’t even trust my own memories at first because everything was so foggy. I requested the toxicity report after I was released. I was drugged that night. It had to have been Heidi. It had to. She must have drugged my wine and hidden in the house until your father left. But now I guess we’ll never know.” Her voice trails off, her eyes full of haunting questions that will never be answered.

“You didn’t choose to leave me. That’s all I need to know.” Clearing my throat, I’m unable to compose myself. Overwhelming relief pulls at my heart. It’s no use. I succumb to my emotions, letting tears of both happiness and sorrow fall as I move next to the hospital bed, embracing my mom in a hug. “Thank you for staying.”

“I’d never leave you. I was trying to keep you safe. And so was Victoria. There was an employee at the facility who constantly hovered around me, so I was concerned Richard was monitoring my every move. I overheard that employee on the phone multiple times, giving updates of Victoria’s visits. When the employee had been distracted with escorting you out of the room, I took the opportunity to confide in Victoria, the only person I knew I could trust to help me keep you safe. That’s why she lied to you, and that’s how I know beyond a doubt that she loves you back. She risked losing your love to save your life.”

“Hopeless.Her word, not mine. It’s been the running theme every time we’ve tried and failed to make it work.”

“Maybe hopeless is the theme but not in the way you’re thinking. Maybe, just maybe, not being together is hopeless, and that’s why you continue to try, and still want to.”

Stepping away from my mom, I head to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To ask the nurse for some of the drugs you’re on because that has to be some good stuff to believe all the BS you’re saying.” I walk out the door, heading down the hallway until I stop at the small waiting area. Dropping into a chair, I sit, watching as people come and go, not wanting to think of what my mom said. She’s wrong though. The only thing that is hopeless is us actually being together after everything that’s happened.