Page 12 of Brutal Titan

“She’s only allowed immediate family.”

“I’m her daughter,” I lie. It’s the same lie I’d told every time in order to see her. I know Elliot hasn’t visited and neither has Richard, so I couldn’t just leave knowing she hadn’t had anyone check in on her. She confirmed as much when I told her how I’d gotten in to see her. Only thing that hadn’t made it through last time were the art supplies. She prefers pencils like I do and a spiral sketchbook, but both were on the unapproved list since they contain sharp items and metal. I hadn’t given it much thought, I’d only wanted to bring something to hopefully brighten her day, but that was the moment it dawned on me the seriousness of her being here.

The employee picks up the receiver, speaking into the handset. “Olivia Bass has a visitor.”

He buzzes me through the next doorway as yet another person escorts me to the small visiting room where I have a seat at the table. Looking around, I spot two other patients talking with family. My fingers tap against the table as I take in the room. It appears to be made for comfort with bright décor and serene music, but nothing feels comfortable about it.

I recognize the guy walking through the entryway, having a seat at the table beside me about three feet away. Jack rests his hands on the table as he says, “Back again too.”

“Yes.” I nod, recalling our brief exchange while we’d sat waiting last week. The facility only allows visitors on Wednesday afternoons, so it’s not odd for us to be here once again at the same time. I wonder how long Olivia will be here and how often I’ll see him.

We make small talk until the side door opens and Olivia walks through, greeting me with a smile and a warm hug as a nurse watches us closely.

“It’s so great to see you again but I said you don’t have to come every week.” Olivia gives me a weak smile as she glances around the room, pushing her hair behind her ear. I notice the bandages have been removed from her wrists for the first time, and my eyes look to the wounds before I can stop them.

Quickly, I reach for the pastels and sketchbook, sliding them across the table. “I want to visit, and I wanted to bring you these.”

Her face lights up as her hand brushes over the box of pastels. “I know it’s not what you normally use but it’s all that I could …”

“It’s all they would allow in.” She gives me a knowingly smile, placing her hand over mine as she clutches my fingers in hers. “And I love it. Thank you so much.”

I return her warm smile. I don’t understand why we are sitting here, how it has come to this, but more than anything, I don’t want to make things worse. Aching to ask her so many questions but not wanting to upset her, I remain silent until she speaks.

“How’s everything going? Didn’t school start back this week?”

“Yes ma’am. It’s going good.” Besides her son starting a fistfight, but I’m leaving that part out. She doesn’t need any bad news, so I’m keeping it positive.

“How’s Elliot?”

“He’s Elliot,” I joke, attempting to avoid actually answering because he’s not good.

“That’s good to know,” she looks to her hands before looking up to me. “Has he said anything to you yet?”

“No, he still doesn’t know I’ve been visiting you,” I admit, guilt rising in me. Even though I’ve been close to Olivia since I was a child, it’s his mother and I shouldn’t be here.

“It’s okay. It’s for the best. As much as I want to see him, I understand why he can’t and really shouldn’t come by.”

“I’m sure he will come around in time.” My heart aches for her and her son. I don’t know all the details, but I know enough to know it will be a long journey to mend their relationship.

“It’s fine if he doesn’t. I love knowing that he’s happy and safe.” She plasters on a smile that reminds me of her son. “So, tell me all about school. Did you sign up for art this semester?”

Shaking my head, I look away as I respond. “No ma’am. I signed up for swim.”

“Well, maybe next semester.”

I give her a smile, but I already know that won’t be the case. Having her as my only mentor is perfectly fine by me. She might not have her artwork in a fancy museum, but she loves the process as much as I do. She has so much talent, I don’t understand why she never made a career out of it since she is insistent on me doing so.

She continues making small talk, and the minutes pass quickly before our time is up. Standing from the table, she pulls me in a warm embrace before I watch her leave the room with new pastels and sketchbook in hand. A bright smile flashes across my face as she raises them to me with a smile then disappears through the doorway. Tears immediately stream down my face as I move to the exit, avoiding eye contact as I wait on each staff member to release me from what feels more like a prison rather than a treatment facility. As I step onto the elevator, Jack does as well. I fumble with my key fob, looking to the floor.

“You all right, Victoria?” he asks, his voice soft.

“Yes sir. I’m fine. It’s just …”

“Overwhelming and crappy.”

Clearing my throat. “Yep.”

“I’m sure your mom will be out in no time.”

I nod, feeling horrible for having to lie to him but I didn’t want to chance anyone finding out that I wasn’t supposed to be visiting Olivia. Stepping off the elevator, I tell Jack goodbye before he heads in the opposite direction.

Sliding into the driver’s seat, my head falls back as I take a few minutes to gather myself before I head home. The last thing I want to do is explain to anyone where I was or why I’m upset. Not many people even know that Olivia is here, and no one knows I’m visiting her every week. Hopefully, it stays that way.