Page 48 of When The Noise Stops

"I know."

"You could've got hurt."

"I know that too."

I cleared my throat.

"I'm sorry about Rattler's," I said. "Me and Ronny used to getting together and acting a fool. It don't usually turn into a bar fight."

He didn't tell me it was fine. Didn't say anything. Just watched me. His eyes were doing that thing again. Reading me. Seeing everything I didn't want him to see.

Finally, he did say, "I saw it. The panic. You okay?"

A tear dropped.

"I'm all right."

"You're not."

"I don't want to do the thing where you sit with me and I'm the broken girl by the garbage cans again. I just had a bad moment."

Wind moved through the pines.

He kicked the other chair out with his boot.

"Sit."

"Grizz—"

"Sit. Just sit. Calm down."

I sat. Opposite. The bruise on my arm throbbed in the cold.

We didn't talk.

I watched my hands until they stopped shaking.

He watched me the whole time. Didn't look away. Didn't try to fix me.

That was the thing about Knox.

He never made me feel like a problem to be solved.

Chapter 19

Lila

The RV was quiet. Just the hum of the generator and the soft sound of Brent Faiyaz playing low through the speakers. Ronny had put it on before we climbed into our bunks. Said it helped her sleep.

I was staring at the ceiling. Couldn't sleep. My arm still hurt. My head still spun.

Ronny's voice came through the dark.

"I've been thinking about this for a while. And all these nature sounds got me feeling like I need to lay down my burden. I wanted to say one thing then leave it alone. Because I feel you're good enough to hear it."

I turned my head. She was on the bunk across from me, on her back, staring at the same ceiling.

"Say what?"