Page 2 of When The Noise Stops

Diane nodded.

"And how do you feel?"

I laughed.

"I don't know. Numb. Angry. Relieved. Scared. All of it at once. I can't sleep. I can't eat. Every time I hear a loud noise, I hit the floor. I keep waiting for him to come back. Even though I know he can't."

"That's normal," Diane said.

"None of this feels normal."

"It will. Eventually."

I didn't believe her.

She asked another question.

"What do you want now, Lila?"

That one was easy.

"Everything."

She blinked.

"I want to do every fucking thing I wasn't allowed to do."

A few women smiled.

"I want to wear clothes he would've hated. I want to laugh too loud. I want to go places without telling anybody where I'm going. I want friends. I want to dance. I want to eat cake for dinner."

"I want to fuck somebody because I feel like fucking them and not because I'm somebody's wife and it's Tuesday."

I went into the meeting expecting to remain quiet, but I talked for an hour.

I drove home with the radio off. I had just moved. My husband's mother kept harassing me about the house. She would come by to tell me how I ruined her son's life. Like I asked him to shoot me. I gave her that big-ass horror house because if I didn't, I might have taken my anger out on her since I couldn't release it on her son.

Nobody knew where I was except Ronny.

I pulled into the lot and cut the engine.

My eyes immediately fell on three men. They were crowded around motorcycles. All bearded and tatted up.

They were standing near the back of the building, talking low, laughing at something. All white. All big.

One looked up when my car door opened.

His cold eyes dropped my stomach. I didn't know this man, but I was judging him. But I couldn't help it. I was very aware of what men like that could do.

I didn't look at him for long. I grabbed my bag and walked toward my door. Eyes forward. Keys already in my hand.

They didn't say anything.

I felt their eyes on my back the whole way, though.

I got inside. Closed the door. Turned the deadbolt. Pressed my back against the wood and breathed.

Chapter 1