Page 71

I can’t speak. I can’t breathe.

I cough and cough and cough, begging for air to trickle in.

I’m suffocating because of her.

I just want to breathe. Please, let me breathe.

“Help! Somebody! Anybody, please help!” My mouth is open, nothing holding it closed whatsoever, and still, nobody can hear me.

I can’t even hear me.

As usual, no one is coming to save me.

The river. If only I was closer to the river, then I’d be in control of my destiny. I’d have a say over what happens to me. Just like earlier in the pool.

What if…I could bring the river to me?

Overhead, it begins to rain. Big, fat raindrops fall around us and on us. I can hear the drops joining forces with the river, raising it, doubling it, tripling it, until the water reaches me.

Me, and then her.

She’s unfazed though, sitting so intently on my chest, using it as a platform. To help her, to make her feel better.

The swollen river engulfs me, making it impossible to breathe. It’s exhausting, all of it. It’s easier to just…let go.

I did it before—surrendered.

Well, almost. If Khaos hadn’t intervened, I would have.

Instead of fighting, I make myself relax, causing the fear to ebb and the water to rush in.

Jaw dropped, I unleash a scream. A single bubble floats up between me and the demon. One last ah-ha, fuck-you, goodbye. She can’t get away with this.

She always does.

My eyes fly open, a cough tearing through me as I search my bedroom, immediately finding the nightlight plugged into the wall.

I was really drowning. It was real. I was…

Not drowning. There’s no way I could’ve been. I’m in my room, in my bed, under the covers. I have to pull my hands out from under my comforter to wipe my face. It’s wet. So maybe…

I feel around, realizing only my cheeks are wet. I’m crying.

I was crying.

It was a dream. A nightmare. Another one.

According to my clock, it’s five thirty in the morning.

The urge to cry still lingers.

It felt so real. They all do.

A quiet sob escapes my chest, but I swallow it right back down.

I tried to do what the doctor said. I tried to talk myself out of it. I tried to move my body. I tried to close my eyes.

But what always happens happened and she won.