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“Sera won’t know.”

“She’ll know.”

“She won’t.”

“I will.”

“You can be bad this once. I won’t tell.”

Kota falters and we hold a stare-off for I don’t know how long. Not long enough in my opinion.

Hands on her hips, she says, “Maybe I like being good.”

“Or maybe you like being bad better.” I lean in to whisper, “And you’re just fighting the inevitable.”

I leave the gym without looking back. I’m not going to watch her kill herself just so her mom won’t abandon her. How do we know it wouldn’t be for the best if her cunt of a mom did leave? It was when mine left.

I assume anyway since I have no memories of what she was like.

No longer in the mood for company, I head to the natatorium and settle on one of the loungers. It’s dark now, the blinking stars visible through the ceiling of skylights. This is one upgrade from New York. I don’t remember ever looking up and seeing stars in the city. Not once. Too much light pollution. Too much everything pollution—people, trash, noise. I like the smells in Sea Haven better, too. I also like the quiet. It’s boring but it’s peaceful. You don’t have to always be on alert walking around. Here, you can just exist.

Some existences come with a higher cost, but still, what an existence this one is.

Movement on my left startles me, and I realize Kota entered the natatorium.

I thought she would’ve gone to the theater.

Maybe she did, then went looking for me when she saw I wasn’t in there. That could be why she’s here now. For me.

She’s sweaty, just like that one night in the hallway, so at least that mystery’s solved.

Kota doesn’t acknowledge me, only walks straight toward the pool. Without so much as a pause, she walks right off the ledge into the water. In her clothes and everything.

I sit up with a tight chuckle. Did she not see me?

There isn’t a single disturbance to the water after her initial splash.

That’s weird.

Isn’t it?

I scan the glassy surface for any sign of her but there’s nothing. She’s not coming up. Or breathing?

“What…is she doing?” I murmur as I stand, crossing my arms. I can’t look too concerned, but for real, what the fuck is going on?

Slowly, I make my way over to where she went in and lo and fucking behold, she’s at the goddamn bottom.

This is familiar.

Too familiar.

“Kota?” I yell in case she can hear me. “What are you doing?”

She’s just lingering down there, no movement whatsoever except for her hair.

“What the fuck?” I grit before dropping to my knees and slapping the water. Come on. Come on. See me.

It’s been too long. I wasn’t counting—because I didn’t think I fucking had to—but I can feel it’s been too long.