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Remembering that, I let the ecstasy—genuine, unadulterated ecstasy—fill me internally, picturing a butter-yellow light spill from my scalp all the way down to my toes until I’m glowing with it, vibrating, breathless. This is euphoria.

I’ve never been happier than this moment, knowing I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing exactly what I was born to do. I’m not my mom; I’m not heartless. I’m all heart. So much I have enough to share with the world. Cheering others on is not a weakness, it’s selfless. A superpower. Cheerleaders give and give and give, all while asking for nothing in return.

Except for, maybe, a few repeated chants when we’re crowdleading.

Applause after a routine wouldn’t hurt either.

We’re prepared to—and do—still perform, with smiles in place, regardless.

I’m glad Khaos is here, too. He’s seen me perform on screen but not in person. Tonight, that changes. Tonight, he won’t just get to see who I really am, what I’m really capable of, he’ll get to feel it.

I can’t make a loaf of bread by myself but I can complete a 180 while airborne, land one foot on a single palm, and recite one of dozens of chants I’ve memorized.

The sun is sinking toward the horizon, leaving behind that last blast of warmth before it disappears for the night, like a goodnight kiss, something to remember it by. It’d be nice if the humidity did the same thing, but it’s a bit more persistent, clinging to everyone with a cloying desperation, making our clothes damp and our faces dewy. That Sea Haven shine, as my coach likes to call it.

Is that toxic positivity? Or is it finding the silver lining in everything?

Silver lining. Cloud. Hold on. Wait a second.

My eyes find Khaos again, his concentration split between me and everything else going on.

He half grins when he notices me looking, a private smile, just for me, his…cloud? What does that even mean? His silver lining? But…why would he think that? He called me silver from day one, so that wouldn’t make any sense. He even said it was because he thought I got second place.

Then why does the nickname sound different these days? Nothing like the malicious jab it started out as and only like the loving caress he uses it as now.

There were those songs on his playlist titled “Cloud.” Love songs. Well, some of them. I didn’t see every song.

I’ll have to look after the game. Maybe. It is a reach, and honestly, most likely a fruitless endeavor. Khaos is my sweetheart now but he wasn’t then. Far from it. He put a toaster in my bathtub.

Okay, if I remember later, I’ll ask him, not just about the nickname but also the playlist. Is it even for me? I don’t want to get my hopes up only to be let down on such a beautiful night.

The first half of the game is a blur of chants, baskets, pyramids, and stunts. We tumble after every touchdown, and luckily, going into halftime, there’s three of them on the board.

21—13. Too close to relax, even for a second. We have a tough second half ahead of us.

But first…

As soon as the players file off the field, we get in formation out on the fifty-yard line.

“Trophy” by Charli xcx pumps through both the stadium and my veins. I know without checking that every other person out here feels the same way. It’s our time. It’s showtime.

Let’s go!

After the first line of the song, the beat drops, sending the team into motion from the ground up. Tumblers flip across the astroturf, stunters squat and throw the flyers in their hold, and flyers, well, we do what we do best—we soar. Launched into the spotlit sky, we spin and twist at high speeds, defying gravity as we complete stunts that’d make most people puke, before coming back down onto our bases’ waiting hands and holding a quick pose…then we’re airborne, doing it all over again, running through our entire routine until the song comes to a close.

We’re all gasping for breath as we hold our ending positions, some more than others. Not everyone was practicing this summer and it shows. Our stamina’s nowhere near where it should be for comps. Nothing catastrophic happened, but there were at least a dozen mistakes I picked up on. I can’t imagine what Coach caught. We have a lot of work ahead of us if we’re going to earn any trophies this season.

I believe in us though. As the newly appointed top girl, I have to.

“That went better than I thought it would,” Wesley says from beside me as we run back to the sidelines. She’s a tumbler, so her view’s from the ground. I’m a flyer and mine’s from the air. Obviously, we saw very different things.

“First game,” I say with a headshake and a smile.

She returns the latter, singsonging, “First game!”

Khaos is still in the same spot, so I grab my bag before meeting him at the fence.

“Hey, top girl.”