Page 88 of The Comedown

“Then let me see what they did to you.”

He did notice. He noticed what the other two men in that room didn’t. Wouldn’t. They chose to view me like that.

I take the sunglasses off, staring at the floor between us.

“They didn’t leave any marks around my eyes.”

Soft as cashmere, Julian whispers, “I’m not looking around your eyes. I’m looking in your eyes.”

My eyes lift to meet his, then his face blurs behind a sheet of tears. The next instant, I’m pulled to him in a hug as he rubs soothing circles on my back.

“I’m so fucking sorry. I fucked up. Again. I’m always fucking up.”

He hangs his head until his chin rests on my shoulder, his strong front holding up mine.

“You didn’t do it. They did.”

He pulls back to look me in the eye, and drops his hands to the sink, framing my hips. “Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I… I thought you knew.”

“How could I?”

“Because Bare—”

“Bare knew?”

I regard Julian, my chest aching for him more than myself in this moment. His own bodyguard couldn’t tell him. Slade made quick work of cleaning the whole thing up…for Julian only. Slade never checked on me to see if I was okay.

“No one told you?”

“No, they fucking didn’t.”

We’re both quiet for a minute, then he asks, “Where’d you go?”

“Home. Spent some time with Holter and a couple friends.”

“Were you okay? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.”

He stares into my eyes, not saying anything until slowly, so slowly, he leans down to press a kiss to each eyelid as they flutter closed.

With my eyes shut, I don’t see it coming but Julian’s lips hover over mine just barely, and we hold the position, neither of us stopping, neither of us pushing for more.

This response is unusual to me, foreign even. Not only because it’s Julian, but because it’s nothing like what Bodee would’ve done. He was never like this. He never treated me like this—like I was precious.

“Bare told me about your new hierarchy…the one with me and Holter at the top,” I say without opening my eyes.

“So you know.” Julian’s warm lips tickle mine, and I almost moan.

“Know what?”

“What I’d do for you. What I’ll do for you.”

I go to open my eyes, but he places a hand in front of them, saying, “Not yet.”

“Julian,” I say, squeezing them shut.