Page 64 of Mommy

Stretching out my hands over my head, I wait for him to hand me one of the plates.

“Are you not even going to eat up here like a normal person?” Derek asks, uncertainty starting to tint his words.

“No.” I deadpan and take the plate. Rice and what I think is chicken curry send steam up into my face.

It smells amazing, and I’m a little surprised that Posie doesn’t seem to care. She doesn’t even lift her head, and instead keeps snoring against my knees softly. It must have really been a while since she took her last safe nap if she values the comfort of sleeping peacefully more than food.

Me on the other hand… A noisy growl comes from my stomach, and I balance the plate in one hand while I start eating with the other.

By the end of it, I want to lick the plate clean.

He might be acting like an ass right now, but Derek does know his way around the kitchen.

“Refill?”

Without thinking about it, I nod and stretch my hand up as high as I can to let him take my plate.

When he returns, I look up at him.

“Can Posie stay here?”

He suggested something like that earlier, but I’m not sure I can count on that still going, right? It might have been a spirit of the moment kind of thing and he changed his mind.

Surprise has his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline, and for a long moment he is silent.

Maybe this is my cue to take back the question. Maybe this is the moment I should use to tell him that it was a weird request and a stupid idea, but— I can’t. I can’t because I’m so scared that Posie will end up at the shelter. Just like Viv did.

I don’t want that for her. I don’t want all the noise and all the stress. I want her to have her babies in peace. I want her to be able to unwind a little.

“You mean… I should—?” he leaves the question open, but I know where his mind went. Adoption.

“No. Just let me foster her here.” I say quickly. “I’d do it at home, but⁠—”

—but it’s too messy.

—but my mom wouldn’t let me.

—but I can’t afford that.

No matter how much I want Posie to be in a safe place, if Derek says no, she’ll have to go to the shelter. I can’t take her in, so it’s either the shelter or a foster home.

And I don’t want that.

I so desperately don’t want her to go to a foster home. I just lost Viv. And even if I’m being selfish and unfair, I don’t want to lose Posie too.

Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I hold my breath as I wait for Derek’s reply.

He is still thinking about it, his green eyes fixed on my face.

“You’d take care of her?” he asks and a weight falls off my chest.

“Yes.”

“Every day?”

I nod.

“And every night?”