Page 71 of Every Time We Touch

“It would have been worse if you’d fallen for one of your sisters’ husbands,” Mom says.

“Not a chance,” I say.

“With Jen being such a lez,” Nora says, “realistically, in the St James family, she could only have fallen for me.”

“Don’t say that,” Mom groans.

“It’s a wonder that I didn’t.” I bat my lashes at Nora ostentatiously. If they can joke about this, so can I. All four of us were completely beside ourselves when Mom first brought our teenage idol Nora Levine home. Special though she is in her own way, Nora is no Clancy.

“Don’t you start as well,” my mother says.

“All jokes aside,” Nora says, her tone serious again. “Mimi, imagine if Jen and I had fallen in love. That’s how Eric must feel right now.”

Mom nearly chokes on her water.

“Not helping,” I say.

“I don’t want to imagine that,” Mom says, once recovered.

“Can we get Abby to take him back?” Nora doesn’t know when to stop sometimes.

“I think that ship has well and truly sailed,” Mom says.

“Look,” I say. “It’s not an excuse, but Dad and Clancy were nothing like you and Nora when you first met. The situation is completely different.”

I can hear Lauren’s voice in my ear, shouting, “You would say that to make yourself feel better.” She’d be right as well—but I haven’t spoken to my sister since she stormed out of my house earlier this week.

“Maybe,” Mom says, “but that doesn’t make it any less painful for your father.”

“I know.”

“But listen.” Mom rests her kind gaze on me—the one she has used to comfort me ever since I was a little kid. “Even though I have no regrets, I know what it costs to deny your real feelings.”

I never really know what to respond when she says something like that. After she and my dad divorced, she told us that she knew she was gay when she married him, but it mattered less to her than wanting a big, traditional family. These days, our family is anything but traditional, but it’s thanks to both my parents that we’re all so close.

“So does your father,” she says. “You need to give him some time.”

“You St Jameses really can’t get enough of putting the OG St James through it.” Nora’s filter’s not working again. “I’m starting to feel sorry for Eric.”

Mom actually chuckles at this—I imagine Nora’s directness is one of the things she fell for. After seeing her only as her ultra-likable High Life character Emily Brooks, for me, it was quite a shock to the system to get to know the real Nora Levine. But I’m used to her now—and appreciate her all the more for it. With Nora, you never have to guess how she feels about something—or you.

“Of course, Eric’s hurt by this. He’s only human, but I know he will be fine,” Mom says. “In the end.”

It’s easy enough to choose to believe my mother.

She reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “Maybe we should talk about you, darling,” Mom says. “Despite Clancy being who she is, you look happy. You have this glow about you when you talk about her.”

“I am happy,” I say. “But I also feel incredibly guilty.”

“Yeah.” Mom pushes her empty plate aside and nods. “There are no easy answers or quick fixes for this, but it doesn’t have to be impossible.” She briefly glances at Nora, then back at me. “Look at Avery. She’s in a relationship with her former therapist.”

“Christ,” Nora sighs. “Are we the only ones who met under normal circumstances?”

“All I’m saying is that sometimes love begins under less-than-ideal circumstances, but that doesn’t make it any less real or any less worth pursuing.”

“Avery and Nic are very much in love.” Nora sounds sweeter now. “The two of them falling in love was not without consequences, but when I talk to either of them about it, they both say the same thing—that they had no choice.”

“What were the consequences?” I ask.