Page 45 of A Symphony for the Earl

No, she would find a tractable husband and have a comfortable home away from the Earl of Seldon. He would consume her. Sir William Denton was an excellent choice. They enjoyed good conversation and shared the same sense of humor. Though he was attractive, it was no love match, but wasn’t that safer than giving up her independence by falling in love? She had her music to consider, and it would always be the center of her life.

When she entered the oak-paneled room, Richard stood by the large window, gazing outside with a pensive air. She wondered about the damage to his library; the carpet would need to be replaced at the very least.

He turned, motioning to a chair, and flicked aside the tails of his perfectly tailored coat to sit behind the desk. She was glad to deal with him in a businesslike way and hoped to put last night behind them. If he didn’t care to mention it, neither would she. When he looked up and finally met her eyes, his blue-gray gaze was somber.

“We need to discuss what happened last night, Fiona.”

Her face flamed. “There is nothing to talk about. It was an accident. I’ve made allowances for your illness and my lack of experience. We shall speak no more of it.”

“You may say that, but it will not go away. My behavior was unforgivable, and I deeply regret my actions, but it’s done now, and we must face the consequences.”

“What consequences are those? Am I to be sent away?” His attitude alarmed her. He had clearly made up his mind on a plan of action, and the thought of leaving Merrick House was surprisingly painful.

“That would hardly be fair, since the blame lies with me.” He hesitated, and she wondered what was so hard to say. “There is no recourse but to marry.”

She stared at him, stunned. “Marry? You can’t mean it. For an evening’s indiscretion?”

“Do you think of it so lightly? Perhaps you consider such…activity commonplace, but I assure you I do not usually seduce young women under my care.”

She rose angrily. “You know that is not what I meant. This is absurd. We barely know each other, and you cannot claim to be in love.”

Something passed over his face, but it was gone instantly. “No. We are not in love. But you are prepared to wed someone far less familiar than I. Few people have the luxury of choosing love as a reason for marriage, Fiona.”

“I’m to sign over my life to you based on one reckless incident? It is ridiculous. You already have control over everything I do. Is that not enough?” An inexplicable panic seized her; she could not be trapped in a marriage with this irritating, indifferent, inexplicable man. He made her confused and uneasy; worst, she couldn’t bend him to her will. She would be ruled and overruled.

“Most would say marriage to the Earl of Seldon is not a hardship,” he said in a clipped voice. “You will have the advantage of my name, my fortune, and my protection. I stand to lose far more in the bargain. My life as a bachelor is quite satisfactory.”

“Then keep it! I do not give a fig for your fortune or your station. I will lose my freedom, and that means everything to me.”

“It is the only reasonable solution.” His expression softened, and he flashed her a crooked smile. “Come, Fiona, is marrying me so distasteful? Surely, we can make the best of it.”

She teetered on the verge of responding to that smile, those coaxing words. But she couldn’t forgive his autocratic nature, his arrogance. She would be miserable in such a marriage.

“I’m afraid I must refuse your offer, my lord. I prefer to choose a husband rather than to suffer in a marriage neither one of us wants.”

He rose from behind the desk, his face tight. “Then you face a difficult situation, for I will not permit you to wed another man. Perhaps, while I am in the country, you will have time to think upon the matter.”

“I won’t change my mind.” She stood as well. “And you needn’t think you will bully me into marrying you.”

He did not reply; he merely walked to the door, holding it open for her. Fiona kept her composure until she stepped outside, then dashed to the privacy of her room, where she threw herself on the bed and inexplicably burst into tears. Why did the idea of a marriage to him disturb her so? She was attracted to him. Just being in the same room made her stomach flutter. When he spoke, it was difficult not to remember his lips on hers, his passionate words.

But it wasn’t love or anything close. At this moment, she detested him. If only he had proposed from affection, rather than a sense of duty, she might have considered it.

Fiona walked over to the large bay window, wiping her eyes, and looked past the meticulous gardens to the stable yard. Jerome was hitching the grays to Richard’s curricle. Seldon was a vast and impressive holding, the seat of four generations of Merricks. He was right; many women would swoon at the opportunity to wed him.

Below, Richard entered the yard and sprang lightly into the driving seat, taking the reins. Jerome climbed up beside him. Even from here, she could see his set, angry expression. He lifted his driving whip and the horses trotted out of sight. She sighed in relief. Thinking clearly was impossible in his presence. There was a knock on the door, and she released the catch to see Betty waiting outside.

“Excuse me miss, but Lady Amelia requests you come downstairs. The first callers have arrived.”

Chapter Sixteen

An Imprudent Ride in Hyde Park

Activity filled the rest of the afternoon, and Fiona found little time to dwell on her anxieties. The influential patronesses of Almack’s, Lady Sally Jersey and her companion, Countess Lieven, were the first callers to arrive, carrying an invitation to the music recital at Mrs. Drummond-Burrell’s house.

“Do you sing or play an instrument, Miss Rafferty?” the countess asked in her distinctive accent. “I understand there is plenty of room for another performance.”

Before she could refuse, Lady Amelia intervened. “As a matter of fact, Fiona is very talented at the piano.”