Page 22 of Full Body Hit, Part 1

Fireflies raced in Chase’s stomach, filling him up with light. He locked his pinky with Sammy, squeezing securely and then letting go.

“Okay, so…I have this condition. I was put on some bad medication when I was a teenager and it kind of fucked my presentation up? This isn’t actually how I smell. My real scent is locked away, and I can’t smell anyone else, either.”

Sammy’s eyes got big and round. “Oh, my God. You can’t smell pheromones?”

“Nope. Can’t release them, either.”

“Why? Like, do you not produce them?”

“The opposite, actually. I produce so many that it’d put me in danger with Alphas, and just…I wouldn’t be able to be in public without people being overwhelmed. Same for me. People’s scents are just…they make me throw up.”

“Holy shit,” Sammy whispered. He grabbed one of Chase’s hands, skin soft, hold gentle. “I’m so sorry.”

Chase shrugged, swallowing around whatever dumb thing was suddenly in his throat. “I mean, it’s whatever. Who wants to scent a bunch of stinky Alphas, anyway?”

Sammy didn’t join in on the joke. His face remained pained, eyes piercing into Chase, not letting him get away with just brushing it off.

It dawned on Chase that he’d never had someone be sad for what had happened. His mom had insisted on moving on and, apart from that first doctor, who had seemed more angry than anything else, all the other medical practitioners had been matter-of-fact about his condition, focusing on the symptoms and treatment.

No one had mourned his loss.

Chase hadn’t been aware that he could mourn, too.

Chase cleared his throat desperately. He was absolutely not going to cry about something that happened years ago. “Anyway. As you can imagine, Alphas eventually figure out there’s something wrong with my scent, you know? So they dump me.”

“Fuck. I’m so fucking sorry, Chase.”

“It’s whatever. I—” His voice cut off.

Fuck, this was so stupid. He pressed the fingers of one hand over his eyes, the other one still clasped in Sammy’s.

“Sorry,” Chase choked out. “I don’t even know why I’m getting upset. It was ages ago.”

“Hey…” Sammy whispered.

Chase felt his hair being brushed back, and then Sammy was drawing him near.

They tilted onto the couch until they were lying down, Sammy laying the blanket over both of them as he drew Chase in.

Chase pressed against Sammy’s front. His eyes were wet, mouth pasty, but he wasn’t crying.

He definitely wasn’t crying. Because that would be dumb.

“It’s okay,” Sammy promised. He wrapped around Chase, holding him close, hand threading through his hair.

Something shaky and unstable and taped-together inside of Chase collapsed, reverberating through him. He let out a burst of wet breath, letting himself be hugged like he hadn’t in so long, body swept away in the shining tide of it.

It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t have a scent. That Alphas didn’t want him. That his first year in the league was turning out so shitty. That he felt small enough to disappear.

Even his idol saw through the bravado and found something worthless underneath.

He was shaking with the force of not letting himself break completely, pushing down the sobs that wanted to bubble up.

He stomped on the feeling, forcing them into the dirt until they were buried again.

The trembling stopped eventually. His head drained slowly of the murky water it’d been filled with. Heat rose to his cheeks as he noticed his wet, sticky face.

“Sorry,” he croaked out.