Page 113 of Full Body Hit, Part 1

Chase skated to the bench, stomach so tight he thought the bile would be squeezed right out of his gullet.

“What the fuck was that?” Auston said, voice monotone but eyes two black pits as he stared at Chase.

Something in Chase snapped, giving in to the weight that had been pressing on it for months. “Why don’t you score a fucking goal then instead of picking on the person with the least experience on the team? Huh? Mr. Veteran?” he hissed back.

Auston blinked, remaining blessedly silent as Chase sat as far away from him as he could.

The thick liquid was swelling up again, covering him in something dark.

Why the fuck couldn’t he do anything right? He should have passed the fucking puck. Been a team player instead of trying to show off.

No one except Auston said anything—not the coaches or the guys in the changing room, but Chase still felt the pressure of what they must be thinking.

“Wanna hang at mine? I’ll make you a shake with that special peanut butter,” Sammy offered.

“Nah, I’m good. Just want to grab some sleep.”

Sammy’s mouth twitched to the side, but he didn’t try to talk Chase out of it.

Chase changed as soon as he got home. Aunix had gotten him an oversized sweater and some new soft, thin yoga pants, and he put those on before climbing into his nest.

He curled up with Joey the duck under the weighted blanket, heating pad on low below him, warm lights glowing mutely.

Why was it so hard to just be…good?

He let the safety of his nest settle his uneven pulse, thoughts slowing. He fiddled with his phone, hand itching to call Aunix, even if just to hear his voice.

Maybe he didn’t deserve it, though. Maybe—

Chase flinched as his phone started ringing, stomach bursting with fireflies when he saw who was calling.

“Hey.”

“Hey, baby. Am I catching you at a bad time?” Aunix asked, and just hearing him talk had Chase melting, the sharp parts of him turning round and gooey.

“No. Was just thinking about you, actually.”

“Oh, yeah? Something nice I hope,” Aunix said, smile clear in the brightness of his voice.

“I don’t think I’ve ever thought a single bad thing about you,” Chase confessed.

There was a moment of silence. “That’s sweet. Sweeter than I deserve.”

Chase wrinkled his nose. “Nope. I decide what you deserve from me, and you get a whole lotta sweetness. Deal with it.”

Aunix snorted. “I mean, I guess I can deal with that.”

A comfortable pause settled over them. Chase could hear Aunix breathing softly, and he felt so close to him in that moment that it made the distance between them starker.

Which was a total oxymoron, but there he was.

“I was thinking about calling you, actually. Had kind of a shitty day and I didn’t really want to dump it on you.”

“Charlie…”

“I know, I know.”

“We talked about this. It’s not dumping, it’s sharing,” Aunix reminded him.