Page 33 of Trick Knot Treat

I try to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut, reminding myself that Zaire and Felix both don’t want this and anything with Clint is impossible, but it still niggles away, uncomfortable and leaving me with greasy, uneasy thoughts.

I try to push it all away while I type up my report, then I head home to my shitty little one-bedroom room that I rented from James, a beta I went to school with.

I lay on my bed, trying to work out why, for the first time since we moved here, Sunshine Cove doesn’t feel like a happy home.

Chapter 9

Zaire

Iwake up to Spectre’s hot breath and his tongue on my face. I’m in bed, but the weight that is holding me down isn’t the drywall but the incredible size of my dog. My fingers slide through his fur as I pant. My chest is tight, but not from his weight. The dream is from the dregs of my memory, an event that affected me differently when nothing else had before. I was fine, and then I wasn’t.

There is no fire. No children screaming. No one is dying today.

By the time I’m calm, I’ve shoved the dream and the memories back into the box in my mind.

“Good job, Spectre. Off now.”

He looks me in the eyes, as if assessing to see if I’m really all right before he slides off me, and jumps off the bed. He pads to the door, knowing that I’ll be right behind him. I pull on my jeans and my buttoned up shirt from yesterday and rush out of my house, not even bothering to grab a phone.

The sky is just lightening.

I got four hours of sleep. Better than yesterday.

Spectre pauses in front of her house and whines. It’s nothing to write home about. It’s old, quaint, and small. She hasn’t made it her own. There’s no stamp of anything about Khione on it, and that bothers me. Everything in me wants to walk up to that front door, knock until she opens it, and then pull her into my arms until it all goes away.

“Don’t dump your troubles on others,” I say, repeating something my mum used to say. “Come on, Spectre. Leave her alone; she doesn’t need to have our nightmares, too.”

I lead my dog down onto the beach. It’s nice here. The city was home until it wasn’t. Those towering buildings started to close in, the people got further away, and I started losing myself like I was just another ant in the colony.

It was like I was dying. Just so slowly that no one noticed.

My mum’s last gift to me before she left this world was a Great Pyrenees puppy that she affectionately called my Spartan warrior. She said he would be stronger and braver and more loyal. That he would be everything I needed. She said if I let him into my heart, I’d find my way back to the world.

She was right.

My house was too small for a puppy his size, so I sold everything, packed up my truck, and we drove. Finding Sunshine Cove was like being exhausted and running for so long, only to stop and wake up in a dream. So, we stayed.

But the pup did more than that. He’s my shadow. He’s the solace. Spectre understands my moods and the panic. He sees me when I’m weak, and he’s found a way to help me.

It didn’t take long to realise that my mum was right again. Spartan, or Spectre, does so much more for me than what I expected.

He takes off, running through the sand and down to the surf where he barks at the incoming tide. He’s a big goofball, but also, until I met Khione, the only reason for me to get up in the morning.

It looks like today is shaping up to be a fairly average day. The wind is blowing, and the skies are full of thick white clouds that filter the light. Today is the first date.

I scrub my hand over my face, feeling the weight of the stress returning. That expectation of being something I’m not. Of being happy. Of trying to date people who end up hating me.

“You’re thinking dark, grumpy thoughts.”

I jump a foot in the air and then curse fluently. “Khione!”

She giggles. “Sorry, you looked so sad and lonely, and I was like, I want to bring the light into your life.”

You already do.

“You scared me.”

“You should be paying attention."