Page 66 of Love Me Again

She turned to leave the bathroom now that she had everything that mattered, but he blocked the exit.

“But I am learning that…” He swallowed. “I can make the regret worse. I can compound the mistake. Give up on ever making anything else right. Or I can change and grow and promise to be better.”

She pushed past him. All the words sounded wonderful and great and grand, but how did she believe him?

He let her move past him, but he followed her out into the living room. She grabbed her notebook, her pen.

“Maybe we met each other too soon,” Boone continued. “Maybe I shouldn’t have married you until I grew up a little, but I can’t go back and change that.”

She wanted to laugh, bitterly of course, but even that got stuck in her throat. She shoved the items into her bag. What else did she have? Her purse, her keys. She went and retrieved them and didn’t say a word to Boone.

When she went to grab her duffel, Boone blocked her way this time.

“Damn it, Josephine. Knock it off. Look at me.” When she didn’t, he took her by the arms. She struggled against his hold, but he didn’t let go. He held her arms tight, looked down serious and true. Like when he’d said their vows and she’d believed him.

But he’d broken them, hadn’t he?

“I can only tell you that I’m not the same man who left you. And I will never, ever leave you again.”

Her whole body stilled. She wanted so badly to believe in that promise, she nearly leaned into him.

For a moment, she wanted to believe that they could be different. Grown up. That he could learn from his mistakes.

But the risk was too big. She couldn’t survive another hurt like this. She had nothing and no one left except herself. If she believed him now, in the future she wouldn’t just lose him, she’d lose his family.

She had to put a stop to this, or she would be absolutely and utterly broken.

She pushed at him. He didn’t release her at first, but eventually he did. He shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Don’t leave, Josie. Don’t give up on this. We can take our time. We can…do it however you want. Just don’t leave, Jo.”

It was so tempting, and that temptation was so terrifying, she had to be mean in response, or she would find herself left again. “I gave up on this when I showed up to that hospital and all that was left of you was a shitty letter.”

He closed his eyes as if in pain, but that didn’t last. He didn’t wilt. He didn’t get that dead, blank look on his face that she’d seen in the hospital and chalked up to the pain meds.

He opened his eyes, that deep intense blue she’d always gotten lost in. He met her gaze. He didn’t falter. There was an intensity she’d never seen, except maybe on the back of a bull or when he’d asked her to marry him. “I get it. You haven’t seen me fight yet. But you will. I am Deb Tyler’s son, and I’ll be damned if we lose out on a future because I made a mistake.”

He was right about one thing. She had never seen him fight, and the certainty in his expression had flutters alight in her stomach. A variety of feelings in those flutters—hope and love. A wave of need. And the needling pain of wishing it wasn’t too damn late.

“I don’t want that.” She couldn’t allow herself to want that if she was going to find some safe kind of life.

“I do.”

She shook her head, ready to tell him that what he wanted didn’t matter, but a knock sounded at the door, startling them both.

Then the door swung open. “Hope you’re decent!” Molly called cheerfully.

She grinned at them, “Come on, guys. We’ve got a baby to meet.” Her excited smile died as she seemed to read the tension in the room.

Boone moved for the door, but Josie didn’t. She stayed where she was. They both looked at her expectantly.

“You’re not coming?” Molly said, worry and hurt in her gaze.

Josie turned away from her, because she couldn’t meet Molly’s gaze and do what she knew she needed to. “No.”

The silence was palpable, and no one interrupted it. Josie squeezed her eyes shut, kept herself very still. She just needed them to go.

Instead, she felt someone approach. She knew it wasn’t Boone because she could smell the faint hint of Molly’s vanilla-scented shampoo.