Page 48 of Love Me Again

“I like working on myself,” Molly said, following it with three huge gulps. “I like being beholden to no one.”

“So why are we getting drunk?” Em demanded.

“Because it isn’t about being in a relationship or getting married. It’s about feeling…”

“…disposable,” Josie finished.

“Yes!” Molly said, pointing at Josie. “Incapable of love or being loved. And worse, like I’m the only one.”

“But we aren’t,” Em insisted. “We have our families and each other.”

Molly shook her head. “That’s different. And maybe you’re right to point it out, but sometimes, Em, a girl just wants to wallow a little bit without a ray of sunshine saying the clouds aren’t that bad.”

Em wrinkled her nose. “Sorry.” She turned to face Josie, smiled brightly. “So, what about you, Josie? Swearing off men in your impending divorce?”

Men. She wanted to be able to picture that. Some other guy. Some nice, easy, predictable guy who she would trust to stay, no matter what.

But every fantasy just looked too damn much like Boone. “I don’t know. I was just sitting here trying to make plans.”

Em peered down at the notebook page Josie pointed to. “What’s in Montana?” she asked, tapping that word written and underlined three times.

“My veterinarian license.”

“You could get one in Colorado,” Molly said. “The process can’t be that hard and I can already guarantee you’d have work. You could maybe even talk Karl into working with you so you’d eventually take over his customers once he fully retires, which is going to be in the next few years, I guarantee it. You’d know people, have friends, and single lady pity parties whenever you wanted.”

“But not dates,” Em said, shaking her head sadly. “Dates are thin on the ground. I think the only single guy here is Tate.”

“Who’s Tate?” Josie asked.

“He owns the pizza place in town.” Molly waved him away like he didn’t count. “But there are tourists now. Not much in the winter, but Mile High Adventures is working on it. Gracely is in comeback mode. There will be single guys crawling all over the place before we know it.”

“I thought you didn’t want a guy,” Josie said.

Molly sighed. “I wish I didn’t. But don’t Lou and Cora look so cute? Pregnant and fawned over?”

“You want to be pregnant?” Em all but screeched it.

“I mean, someday.” Molly shrugged. “The possibility, anyway. Don’t you?”

She aimed the question at Em, but then both of them kind of looked over at Josie. Embarrassment immediately flamed in Josie’s cheeks. It didn’t feel right to talk about kids when she’d once dreamed of having kids with Boone.

“So, did you guys ever talk about it?” Em asked, and she had a way of asking that felt casual. “I’d say I can’t picture Boone as a dad, but he’s got a way with Micah that’s really sweet,” she continued.

“We…didn’t really talk about it. Just a misty someday.” And now that someday was gone.

And don’t go thinking I don’t know that the only reason you don’t want me to kiss you is because you’re afraid it’ll change your mind.

Yes, he’d hit the nail on the head there. Josie downed her drink. “You’re a terrible influence, Molly,” she rasped.

Molly grinned. The crooked angle reminding Josie painfully of Boone.

“Why, thank you.”

Boone was in a surly mood and knew it, so he did his best to avoid anyone who came into his orbit. He went to bed early, tossed and turned in pain and whirling thoughts. He avoided people at breakfast the next morning, and then after snapping at both Shane and Gavin when they expressed some concern about his ability to handle the simplest of chores, he trudged back to the main house.

Growth, he supposed, that he was taking himself out of the situation rather than staying in it to resolutely make everything worse on purpose. Look at him. All adult and shit.

He wished that put him in any better mood, but he didn’t think anything would until…