Page 27 of Love Me Again

“Everything for the past six months has been setting my dad’s death to rights. I don’t think I could go back to the rodeo. It’s nothing but sad memories, and I want…” Josie inhaled.

This was the part she always stumbled over. Without Dad, without Boone, she didn’t know what the hell she wanted. Her future stretched out like a dark, dark highway. And her headlights were broken.

“That’s really normal,” Molly said confidently when it was clear Josie wasn’t going to finish her sentence. “When I came back home after getting divorced, I didn’t have a clue what I was going to do with my life. I’d wasted too many years living for someone else.”

Living for someone else. It landed hard because… She hadn’t realized until he’d died just how much of her life had revolved around making her father happy. Not because he’d asked it of her. He wouldn’t have wanted that if he’d known that’s what she was doing.

A lump formed in her throat, and Josie had to swallow it away. She didn’t want to be sad. She was so tired of sad. But the only thing not sad in her life was this and…

Boone’s eyes.

Which was a really messed up thought, but Molly bringing up her divorce made Josie wonder… If not knowing where to go or what to do was normal, what else might be normal that she was beating herself up over?

“Can I ask you guys something? Personal and probably something I shouldn’t be asking.”

“Oh, yes.” Cora’s blue eyes danced with interest and mischief, even as she rested her hand on her big belly. “Please ask exactly that.”

She shouldn’t. Josie knew she shouldn’t mention this to the eager gazes of Boone’s family, but technically Cora and Lou weren’t blood related to him, and Molly had been nothing but welcoming and nice and had admitted that she understood her brother had probably been a lousy husband.

Of course, that wasn’t exactly true but… He’d done something irrevocable. And sitting here with his family didn’t change it, even if she liked them. Even if she still loved Boone. If anything, it made it worse. What he’d done.

“Molly, you…you said your ex-husband wasn’t great.”

Lou snorted. “Wasn’t great. Understatement of the year.”

Molly, clearly a little closer to drunk than not herself, pointed at Lou. “Pots can’t call kettles black.”

“What?” Lou replied, clearly entertained by Molly’s drunken butchering of the saying.

“You know what I mean,” Molly said, waving her hand in the air. “And it’s not just me. You are in the company of a trio of women with shitty exes. In fact, I’d wager a bet we all beat you in the shitty ex department. Right, ladies?”

Josie blinked looked around the room.

Cora raised a hand. “Abusive asshole.”

Josie knew she shouldn’t be shocked. Anyone could be the victim of abuse. But Cora seemed so sweet and happy and well-adjusted and doted on by Shane, Josie couldn’t quite wrap her head around her having an abusive ex.

Lou followed Cora’s lead and raised her hand. “Set a fire to a building with me locked inside, hence the facial scarring.” She gestured at the bandana that she wore that hid part of her face.

Facial scarring. Trapped in a fire. Josie had to work to not let her jaw drop.

Then Molly raised her hand with a flourish. “I paid his way for years and then he cheated on me. In the bed I bought.”

“With?” Lou prompted.

“My boss,” Molly said dramatically.

Josie could only blink. Well, yes, those were all worse. Way worse.

“We’re not saying Boone doesn’t deserve the asshole ex moniker,” Cora said gently.

“There’s a spectrum,” Lou said thoughtfully. “And you get to partake in the shitty ex club no matter where on the spectrum the asshole falls. It’s not a competition.” Lou fixed Molly with a look. “But I didn’t marry mine.”

Molly humphed.

“What’s your question, Josie?” Cora asked, her gaze gentle and kind. “Don’t let these two lead the conversation away from what you want to ask.”

Josie licked her lips, looked at these three women with something like amazement and awe. When she’d been in school, she’d had friends, but all those relationships had kind of faded away with her dedication to her dad and the rodeo and Boone, and then her dad again.