Page 25 of Love Me Again

“You’re not dumb at all,” Josie muttered. Then scowled up at him as if she was just realizing how far into the house she was. “You’re a sneaky bastard. I was not taking this invitation.”

He shrugged. “Too late, I guess.”

“It isn’t. I⁠—”

“Oh, Josie! I’m so glad you changed your mind about dinner.” Mom swept in, impeccable timing all in all. She linked arms with Josie and started yammering on about food allergies.

Boone followed them into the dining room, where everyone else had already begun to gather. Micah hurriedly and belatedly throwing the silverware onto the table while Grandma and Molly put out platters of food. Gavin and Lou were arguing about something, as were Shane and Ben. Gavin and Lou’s argument appeared to be good natured.

The same could not quite be said for his older brother and his… Well, Boone didn’t know what to refer to Ben as. The man certainly wasn’t his stepfather. Nor did he want to be. So he supposed mother’s husband would have to suffice.

Josie took a few steps back, like she was overwhelmed and wanted to run. But she only ran smack dab into him. He reached out—he’d love to say he was steadying her, but mostly he was using her to steady himself.

But he liked being able to have his hands on her, no matter how platonically, no matter the reason. Her back pressed against his chest. Her shoulder under his hand. The top of her head only barely came up to his chin.

He remembered standing just like this the night of their wedding—if one could call a little courthouse deal with only her father in attendance a wedding—in a little rental cabin outside Jackson Hole for their very brief honeymoon. They’d stood on the porch, just like this, and watched a storm turn into a double rainbow turn into a riotous sunset.

He’d thought it was a good omen. So had she.

Life did like to play little jokes like that.

In this moment, she looked up at him a little lost instead of happy and in love. Because he’d ruined that like he always did. Anything good was not his for the having.

Except…

There was something strange about having Josie here. It shifted all his usual self-defeating thoughts, made him realize everything that had changed.

He’d come home, disgraced, injured, surly. He’d acted like an asshole, and he and Shane had certainly had their share of battles. He’d drank himself into oblivion too many times to count.

But he hadn’t ruined anything here. His family still loved him, even when they fought with him or expressed disappointment. Coming home hadn’t been anything like he’d expected—mostly he’d expected to be ostracized. To feel so awful and terrible that once his leg was healed enough to handle his own shit, he’d want to leave.

He hadn’t.

Now was not the time for this realization, with Josie’s dark, confused, almost scared gaze on him. Maybe he couldn’t ever be what she needed, but he owed her something now that he’d all but tricked her into dinner. Even entertaining trying to somehow make things right meant he couldn’t be the weak-willed asshole he’d been before.

He pointed at the table, and the people she hadn’t met yet. He had to clear his throat to speak. “My brother, Gavin. His wife, Lou. Mom’s husband Ben. You’ve met everyone else. Have a seat.”

“Here. Sit next to me,” Molly said, patting the seat next to her that Lindsay had sat in before she’d moved out to her boyfriend’s place—a Christmas tree farm outside of Gracely. “I will make sure to warn you who to look out for.” She pointed at Micah. “Enemy number one. The teenage boy who tries to eat all the rolls.”

Micah grinned at Molly, completely unrepentant. Josie moved forward carefully, like she was half afraid someone would yell at her for trying to join their dinner.

Boone took his seat, which happened to be across from her. Molly was leaning over, saying something in low tones to Josie that made her mouth curve upward ever-so-slightly.

Boone didn’t know how to make this right, or even if he could, but he knew… She needed this. The family thing. The press of people who cared and wanted to help.

Just like he did.

CHAPTER 9

Josie had never experienced a dinner quite like this one. In a lot of ways, the rodeo family had become her extended family, so it wasn’t the sheer number of people that overwhelmed her. It was the… The history. The complex, shifting relationships. The thing that held them together wasn’t the ranch or an interest, love, or passion for the same things.

It was blood. History. Years.

And love.

It produced an ache so deep in her chest, she worried it would stay there forever. Somewhere, deep in her mind, she knew the answer was to get the hell out of here. But they were all like some kind of mirage. Even knowing she shouldn’t walk closer, shouldn’t search for that oasis that didn’t exist, she kept leaning in.

When dinner was finished, and people started pushing back from the table, Josie followed suit and started to lift her empty plate, but Micah came over and grabbed it first. “The boys have to clean up if the women cook. It’s the rule.” Micah looked longingly at his mother. “Which I never had to do before we came here.”