Page 82 of Run Rabbit Run

The old me would have spat.

Would have said to leave, to run, to feel dirt under my feet and cold air in my lungs.

That woman is a ghost I carry in the hollow of my chest.

Some nights I still feel her kicking, still feel her rage like something drowning, but she's so faint now.

So tired.

I reach up and curl my fingers into the front of his shirt.

"You," I say. "I want you."

He's been so patient, this man.

So careful in his breaking of me.

He's waited for this the way a hunter waits for the animal to walk into the trap on its own, to step inside and lie down and call it home.

He strips slowly, and I watch every inch of revealed skin with a hunger that frightens me.

Broad shoulders, chest, the plane of his stomach.

He's beautiful the way dangerous things are beautiful, all that strength held so carefully.

I know what those hands can do.

I know how they feel wrapped around my wrists, my throat, my waist.

I know how they feel spreading me open and holding me still.

I want them on me now.

I reach for him when he joins me on the bed, my hands finding the familiar country of his body.

He lets me explore a moment, lets me trace the lines of him like I'm mapping ground I already know by heart.

Then his hand returns to my throat, tilting my head back, and he kisses me so slow I forget how to breathe.

He takes his time.

He always takes his time now, like he's savoring something he earned.

His mouth travels down my neck, my collarbone, his tongue tracing patterns that make my spine arch.

When he reaches my breasts I'm already trembling, already wet, already aching for him in a way that feels like starvation.

"Please," I whisper, and I don't know what I'm begging for.

Everything. Anything. To be filled and held and kept.

"Shh." His breath is warm against my stomach as he moves lower. "I'll give you what you need. I always do."

His mouth finds me between my thighs and I sob.

It's too much and not enough.

His tongue works me slow, deliberate, building something hot and tight at the base of my spine.