Page 50 of Her Guarded Hero

“No, we’re not,” she said vehemently.

“Okay, I’m going to talk, and you’re going to listen.” His big body herded her against a wall, effectively pinning her there.

“Just say your piece and leave.” She stared at his chest.

Dalton put his knuckles under her chin and tenderly tilted her head up. She’d never seen his eyes that color, they shimmered like the midnight sky. “Sunshine, I know exactly how you feel, and this is never, I repeat, never going to leave you. One day it might just become a dull ache, if you’re lucky, but you’re always going to know that this happened on your watch. You’re always going to know you made a decision that ultimately resulted in a man’s death. Everyone will tell you that Ned was the one who lit that fire, but you’ll never be able to shake the fact that if it weren’t for the fact you made the choice to get rid of Ned and told others not to hire him, Hal would be alive today. I really want to be able to tell you something different, I really do Baby, but I can’t.” He looked desolate.

Her shoulders slumped. “That was a shitty pep talk,” she whispered hoarsely.

The corner of his mouth lifted, and he stroked her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “I’m always going to speak the truth to you Aurora, always.” His thumb captured the tear that trickled down her face.

“But I should have known. I should have been able to guess what he would do.” How often had she told herself that over the last four days?

“I’ve been telling myself the exact same thing for five years. But we have no alternative but to live with the consequences of our actions.”

She heard the raw emotion in his voice, and the pain in his eyes eclipsed hers a hundred-fold. Holy hell, he was talking about Reagan. No wonder. She shook her head to clear it. He wasn’t being insensitive, he was really trying to help. And maybe, just maybe, if she asked the right questions she could help him.

“How do we live with it?” she queried softly.

“By doing,” he answered. “You get up, every day, put one foot in front of the other, and squeeze as much happiness out of the day as humanly possible, but this underlying agony will pop up when you least expect it.”

“Is that how’ve you coped? Since Reagan?”

She watched the strong man in front of her swallow and nod.

“You just live your life as best you can.”

She shuddered, as a terrible thought occurred to her. Is that what he had been doing when they had come together? Was that all their lovemaking had meant to him, coping?

He wrapped his arms around her and answered her unasked question. “But occasionally you get little pockets of peace, even joy. Like I did with you. Those are moments more precious than gold.”

She melted against him. “So, I’ll find joy? Please tell me I’ll find joy.”

“There will be times,” he assured her sadly.

She looked up, trying to see his expression, but his eyes were hooded. “Dalton, there’s got to be more,” she insisted. “It can’t color every aspect of your life forever.”

He rested his forehead against hers. She felt enveloped by him, like she was in a cocoon of safety.

“For you Sunshine, it won’t color every aspect of your life. You will be able to move on, I promise.”

Her heart broke. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed as hard as she could. “Isn’t there any possibility of more for you?” she asked. “More than just these small stolen moments?”

He didn’t answer.

“Dalton?”

“I just can’t.” His voice was like a lone eagle’s call in the wilderness. “I’m incapable of loving like that again.” He lifted his forehead, his eyes searched hers. “There’s a part of me that died that day. I’ll never be able to love like I did.”

“But-”

He shook his head. “I’ll never offer more than I can give. I would never be that cruel.” His brow furled. “Tell me you didn’t expect more than a few nights,” he practically begged.

Aurora gave him the best smile in her arsenal. “Dalton, I always knew that this was temporary. But you have to know…I want you to know…I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.”

She twined her fingers into the hair at the base of his neck and pulled his head down to hers. He didn’t resist. His mouth slammed onto hers, their desperation was equally matched. There was a deep growl emanating from Dalton’s throat as he ground his mouth against hers, forcing her lips to part. She needed him. Deeper, she lured his tongue to mate with hers. If this was all she could have, then she would take it. She wanted it with every fiber of her being.

Aurora arched up against him, wishing that there was no cloth separating their bodies. She needed to feel her breasts rasped by the dark hair on his chest. Dalton grabbed her hair and pulled her away from his ravenous mouth.