Page 148 of Trigger Happy Ending

“She created PARM-17. Not for what they want to use it for though. They wanted to enhance their operatives; she wanted to use it to heal people. She was a good person, Soren.” My throat tightens, but I keep talking because if I stop, I don’t know if I’ll be able to start again. “When she realized what they wanted to use it for, she tried to shut the whole thing down. She stole the vials and sold them to one of her sources.”

I pause, the only noise is our combined breathing and the rhythmic croaking of insects, acting as the chorus to my revelation.

“It was Senator Wilson.”

Soren’s hand stills completely on my hip. “He was her source?”

“I think so.” I stare out at the black water. “I'm certain he is the redacted name in her case files.”

“Shit.”

I nod.

"All this time, I had him in my sights. God, I even flirted with him once."

Soren's body stiffens. "I don't wanna know that shit."

I huff a small laugh before continuing.

“She threatened O,” I whisper. “Took the serum, which is what he wanted most. And he killed her for it.”

The silence settles in as the monster in Soren stirs. I know because I’m tethered to the darkness within him; it’s the same that festers within me.

“O told you all that?”

I nod. “Right before more sedation kicked in. Pussy ass bitch.”

Soren exhales slowly through his teeth.

"I don't know why I didn't know mom was a scientist … or geneticist or whatever. Why would she keep that a secret from me?"

"Maybe to protect you."

I purse my lips. "Maybe. Either way, I want to find the Senator ... ask him what he knows about her. Mom obviously trusted him."

I need to hunt him down and find out what he knows about my mom. Sure, I know the truth of her death, but I have so many other questions now. All I have to do is find the Senator … but will he talk to me?

A few moments of silence pass, with nothing but the sound of the water lapping softly against the jetty. Even the hum of the insects has gone quiet.

“Do you still want revenge?” Soren asks quietly.

I continue to stare out over the water. Revenge. The word that’s defined my whole life.

“Yeah.” I admit. I drag in a slow breath. “But wanting something and doing it … those are different things. And I’m so tired, Soren.”

His mouth brushes my shoulder. It makes the hairs on my arms stand up. “I know.”

And I know Soren would help me if I wanted to hunt down every motherfucker who has my mother’s blood on their hands. If I asked Soren to swim into the jaws of a great white shark for me, he would. He already has. That’s what the Agency is, you know. A fucking apex predator, sitting fat and smug at the top of the food chain.

“O’s taken everything from me,” I say, turning slightly in his lap so I can see his beautiful face. “And now he’s taken you. He’s stolen every version of a life that might’ve made me happy.”

His gaze locks onto mine, dark and unflinching.

“He hasn’t taken me from you.”

“Yes, he has.”

“He tried.”