Page 57 of The Chase

“Of course, you deserve happiness.”

She shook her head, tears falling down her face, and I didn’t know what I should do to help her.

“No, I shouldn’t be alive. I—” She cut herself off with another cry.

My heart wrenched in my chest at her words. I pulled her into me again, and this time, she didn’t pull away. “Tell me about it?” I asked.

“I was in the car,” she said in a small voice.

Oh.

“When your parents died? You survived?”

She pointed to the scar above her eyebrow that I always wondered about but never asked about. “I was the only survivor.”

I leaned down to kiss her eyebrow. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you went through.”

“TJ, I need to be honest with you about why I’m awkward about sex and why I get panic attacks. If you really want to be my boyfriend, you have to understand how damaged I am.”

“Max,” I started to say, but she held up a hand to stop me. I clamped my mouth shut and let her speak.

“I told you my parents were super religious. I had sex with my boyfriend in high school, and they found out.”

“How?”

She sighed. “Mom went fishing in my trashcan. I didn’t think she would! She berated me about pre-marital sex being wrong for hours and told me that God would punish me for my sins.”

I wasn’t religious. Mom made us go to church for Christmas and Easter, but I didn’t have a strict upbringing like Max. I couldn’t imagine what that was like.

“We were driving home from graduation…” She choked off into a sob, and I reached out to squeeze her hand. “Charlie was with us. All of them died, except for me. I shouldn’t have survived when they didn’t.”

Charlie was the name she called out when she was still asleep. It all made sense to me now.

I wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let her go. I wanted to keep her safe forever and make sure nothing bad ever happened to her again. I’d wrap her up in bubble wrap if I had to.

I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed the back of her palm. “Maxine, you weren’t the drunk driver. You didn’t cause this. It sucks you went through that traumatic experience, but you deserve all the happiness you can get, and I want to give it to you.”

She wiped her eyes and didn’t let go of my hand. “Why? Before you met me, you only hit it and quit it. You said there was someone else before me, and you messed up with her. Am I her replacement?”

I shook my head vigorously.

Maxine wasn’t Taylor. When I was with Taylor, I knew it wasn’t permanent. Hell, I never even called her my girl. I was an asshole to her. I didn’t sleep with other women, but I definitely thought about it. I didn’t have those same feelings with Max. Something about Max made me want to throw away my playboy lifestyle. She made me believe I could have those things I longed for but thought I didn’t deserve.

“Do you want to know why I haven’t had anything serious with anyone since high school?” I asked.

She nodded and curled herself into my arms.

“In high school, I dated this girl Natalie. She was hot.”

Her laughter interrupted me. “Ohhh, shocker!”

“Quiet, you,” I teased and kissed her temple. “Well, anyway… She was the hottest girl in school, and I was the star hockey player. But she played games. She’d cheat on me, then we’d get back together, and then the cycle would repeat itself. She expected me to know exactly what she wanted without telling me. She kissed my sister on a dare at a party, and that was the last straw.”

“Why?”

“I’ve never had a problem with Roxie being bisexual, and it didn’t surprise me when she came out,” I explained. “Natalie did it to get a rise out of me, though. She was always doing stuff like that. She was always insulting me too, telling me I was just another dumb jock and she could find another one.”

Max shifted in my lap so she was straddling me. Her hands cupped my jaw. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”