Page 60 of Accidentally in Love

He kissed my forehead and went to get a shower. I found one of my flowy dresses and threw on leggings since it was winter in Pennsylvania. I was looking in the full-length mirror, inspecting the baby bump, when Nolan got out of the shower.

“See, there’s my sexy mama,” he said with a big grin on his face.

I gave him an annoyed look. “I can’t tell if I look pregnant or like I ate too many cookies yesterday.”

“I know I did,” he teased.

“Don’t eat them all.”

“Don’t make them so good.”

I smiled. “My mom taught me how to make everything from scratch. I’m glad I can pass that on to Peanut. Gemma sure as hell didn’t care to learn.”

His face softened at that. “Is that why you love Christmas so much? It reminds you of your mom?”

I nodded and looked in the mirror while holding my stomach. Nolan got dressed and came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and put his bigger hands on top of mine. I loved the protective nature of his touch. I hoped Peanut felt the love he poured out to them every time he touched my belly.

“Mom made Christmas exciting. I loved making all the cookies with her. I want to keep up that tradition,” I said to him.

“Peanut will have that.”

“Nolan?”

“Hmm?”

“Why do you hate Christmas?”

He pulled away and sighed. “It’s not that I hate it, it’s just…” he slumped down on the bed, and the look of hurt on his face surprised me.

I didn’t mean to hurt him with that question. I had asked him before, and he always shrugged me off. I never wanted to press, but if he was going to be my husband, I wanted to know why he hated Christmas.

I sat on the bed next to him. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”

He ran a hand through his bushy beard. “Do you know how my parents died?”

I shook my head.

Gemma and I didn’t grow up in Drakesville. Our dad was from here, but we grew up a couple of towns away. I didn’t know that much about the town until I got the teaching job at the high school. Nolan and Declan didn’t like to talk about their parents’ death. All I knew was that they died when Nolan was eighteen, and he took on the job of raising his brother, who had only been twelve.

“They died in a car crash coming home from a Christmas party.”

Oh.

Oh, that made so much sense now. The holiday reminded him of everything he lost and how he had to figure out how to take care of his little brother at only eighteen. I felt like a jerk for teasing him about being such a Grinch.

“Oh, Nolan, I’m sorry,” I said.

“It’s in the past,” he said with a grunt.

I reached a hand up and brushed his hair behind his ear. “I still miss my mom. It’s okay to still grieve for them.”

“It’s fine,” he insisted and pulled away from me. “You better get to work, yeah?”

“Nolan.”

“Avs, can you drop it? I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

I nodded.