Page 95 of Trial and Error

I shake my shoulders and step toward her building when the door flings open.

Bridget stands in front of me with her mouth popped open, like she can’t believe I’m standing here. She looks down at her sweatpants and striped shirt and throws her arms over her chest.

“Eli,” she breathes out. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

I shrug softly. “That was kind of the whole point. I wanted to surprise you.”

Her smile is soft as she tucks her hair behind her ear. “Well, you succeeded.”

“Can I⁠—”

“Did you⁠—”

We both start at the same time and I chuckle. “Go ahead,” I say to her, and seeing the light blush that covers her cheeks has me feeling hopeful.

“Do you want to come inside?” She seems hesitant, like she’s worried I’ll say no. “You don’t have to, I just thought⁠—”

“Lead the way.”

bridget

Having Elias sitting opposite me on my couch is like a swift punch to the gut.

I’ve missed you, is what I want to say, but I don’t. Instead, I keep my mouth shut and watch as he leans back into the couch as he digs through his front pocket. I know what it is before I see it, and my mouth turns dry as soon as the engagement ring lies flat in his palm. He hooks it over his pinky and gently places it on the coffee table in front of us.

The silence is loud, overwhelming, and I start to feel anxious, hating how that one small ring carries so much weight—so much more than what it is.

Elias’s eyes are trained on the silver ring for a beat longer before he tears his gaze away and looks at me. “Thanks for letting me come in. I probably should’ve called first, but I didn’t want to lose my nerve.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t reply,” I whisper. “I just wasn’t sure what to say or how I wanted to respond.”

He shakes his head and sighs. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I don’t think I would’ve wanted to speak to me either.”

I shift toward him without thinking and place my hand on his knee and his and covers mine almost immediately, his thumb brushing over my bare ring finger.

“I fucked up,” he whispers. “I made you feel like you weren’t important to me and that you weren’t good enough for me, but it’s me who’s not good enough for you. I was wrong for saying what I did and I regret every word of it, but I know that this is what I want, Bridget—I want us and I’m so fucking sorry that I ever doubted you were it for me.” His voice trembles on the last sentence, but he swallows and carries on. “You were treated poorly by the man before me, and I’ll be damned if I ever fall into the same category as him. You could ask for the world, and I’ll give it to you, I hope you know that—I hope you know I’d do anything for you, because I love you. I love you so much that being without you for the past week and a half has been torturous, and I don’t want to do that ever again. When we fight—because we will—we’ll never go to bed angry because I don’t think I can spend more than a five minutes away from you.”

“What about when we’re at work?” I tease, and he frowns.

“The only exception.”

I thread my fingers through his and pull his hand into my lap. “I’m sorry as well, for not handling it as well as I could have, but I got scared and panicked. You’re the only person I see myself being with…and the thought of not having you? Well, I don’t even want to think about it.”

Elias’s brown eyes between my own as I speak, and it takes every ounce of restraint I have not to lean in and kiss him like my life depends on it.

“I don’t think there’s a version of me that exists without you by my side,” I whisper. “And if there is? Well, I don’t want it. I don’t want to experience a life where you don’t exist—where you’re not meant for me.”

“I don’t want a life like that either,” he whispers. “Definitely not in this lifetime, or any lifetime for that matter.”

He gives my hand a squeeze. “I’ve missed you, so much,” I say.

“Me too, baby,” he replies, reaching forward to tuck my hair behind my ear.

I lean forward, ready to feel his mouth against mine, but he pulls back before I can touch him, and I frown. “Too soon?”

“Not soon enough,” he assures me. “But there’s something else we need to talk about before we kiss and makeup.”

Anxiety rears its head, and as I start to pull my hand from his he grips it tighter.