Page 37 of Trial and Error

I pull back and sit upright and his pouting frown makes me laugh. “It would be easy getting carried away with each other, but I don’t want to do that right now,” I say.

He smirks a little. “But at some point, right?”

I shrug shyly, feeling my face heat at his words. “There’s obviously a lot of attraction here, but I don’t know how smart it would be for us to cross that line—especially when that line feels so blurred already.”

Elias nods, lifting a hand to run it through his hair. “You’re right.” He sounds hesitant as he says it. “We should probably sit down and sort shit out before it gets even messier than it already is.”

“I agree.” I lean forward and brush my lips against his once more before I get up. “But not today. I’ve got some errands to run.”

Elias watches as I disappear into his room to grab my things. “Let me give you a ride home,” he says from the living room.

I tuck my clothes under my arms and head back out. “That would be great,” I say. “Do you mind if I borrow your clothes? I’ll bring them when I next see you.”

“Keep ’em,” Elias walks toward me and cups the back of my neck. “They look better on you anyway.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “C’mon, lets head out. I’ll carry you out to my car.”

I laugh. “Carry me?”

He points down at my bare feet and then to my heels, and I groan at the thought of putting them back on. “Unless you want to wear those things.”

“No, not really.” I shake my head. “I guess you’re carrying me then.”

“Guess I am.”

There’s one thing I’m certain about.

I need to end things with Malik.

I’ve known for a few weeks that things need to end, but thinking it and actually doing it are two different things. A part of me has been hesitant. He’s been calling and texting and I can’t find it in me to dedicate time to him—not because I don’t want to talk to him, but because it feels like I’ve forgotten how to act around him.

I called him once I’m back from Elias’s place and told him I wanted to talk and invited him over. I’ve been a nervous wreck since he agreed, and I hate how hesitant he sounded over the phone.

I feel like I’ve fucked it all up, and when he rings the buzzer, I move robotically toward the door and buzz him in. I pace around the living room until he knocks and then I take a deep breath and pull the door open.

He’s got his hands tucked into his black sweats, and his grey sweatshirt fits him perfectly. Malik’s locks are tied up with an elastic and the smile he sends me is small.

I want to walk to him and just wrap myself up in him. “Hey, you,” he says as he steps inside.

His hand lands on my waist as he leans in to press a chaste kiss against my cheek. “Hey,” I say quietly as I close the door behind him. “Do you want a drink?”

Malik shakes his head as he takes a seat on the couch. “I’ve got to get Asha from her mom’s soon, so no thanks.”

I nod and join him.

It feels awkward and I hate it.

“Listen—”

“Malik, I—” We both speak at the same time.

“Go ahead,” he replies softly.

I shake my head. “You first.”

“All right.” He sighs. “Listen, Bids, I had a great time when I last saw you and things felt like they went well, but I’m not stupid. I can feel you pulling away. I don’t know what I did wrong or how I ruined it⁠—”

I place my hand on his thigh and give it a squeeze. “Fuck, Malik, you’ve done nothing wrong. I swear.”

“Then what is it?” he asks, his tone slightly impatient. “I’ve given you space, I’ve let you sit on it for a while, but you’ve given me nothing. I know you had fun, too, so don’t tell me you didn’t. I just want to know what the fuck happened after that.”