Page 41 of The Storyteller of Krakow

He snorted, as if in agreement, and lay his head in my lap.

I sat there until the trembling in my legs eased enough to stand. Then I wiped my face with the back of my hand, gave Wojtek one last scratch behind the ear, and turned back towards camp.

Zosia. I had to speak to her. And she had to listen.

14

1943, EL-QUASSASIN, EGYPT

‘Zosia. I need to talk to you.’

That evening, I was back at the women’s camp and cornering Zosia in the infirmary.

‘I’m busy, Lena,’ she said.

‘Please. One minute. Please.’

She looked down the corridor at the rows of beds, mostly empty save two.

‘Please,’ I implored.

‘Fine, what is it?’

‘It’s Janek,’ I said.

‘Is he okay?’ Her face flooded with fear.

‘He’s fine. It’s not that.’

‘So what about Janek, Lena?’

‘You’ve been spending a lot of time with him,’ I said. ‘And he’s not who you think he is. He’s not who I had thought he was. I mean…’ I tried to explain everything I had been thinking about for months in as few sentences as possible. ‘I thought he was good, in the beginning. And then I saw he got jealous, a lot. How he didn’t like it when I didn’t do what he wanted, and how he told everyone I was his. And then, today, he showed me, properly showed me, who he is, Zosia. He’s using you to try and make me jealous because his pride is hurt, because he wants me to be his. And he will take whatever he likes, Zosia – he tried to—’ I could not say it, and let the silence speak the words I could not find.

Her eyes widened, and I thought I had got through to her. Then, she smiled, a smile I did not care for, and she patted my arm as if I were a silly child.

‘Lena,’ she said with a sigh. ‘Janek said you would say this. He’s always known how you feel about him. I mean, when I first met you, that’s all you spoke about, how Janek helped you, how he would help us both. You never stopped talking about him. I knew you were in love with him, but I also knew he didn’t feel the same way as you. I’m sorry.’ She patted my arm again.

‘No, no, Zosia, you have it all wrong!’

‘Lena. I really appreciated you being my friend. I really did. But when we came here, things changed. I mean, I made friends, talked to other people at least. You, you didn’t talk to anyone. Just followed me about. And then, when you couldn’t and when you were bored, you’d stick your nose into those mechanics books. It just got hard to be your friend. And Janek visiting, I mean, he had to sneak about so you wouldn’t see him, so we could spend time together. We both thought, Lena, that things had just changed between us all, but we didn’t want to upset you. Especially as you felt so strongly about Janek.’

She gave me the pitying smile again. ‘I still like you, Lena. I just think it’s better now that you go your own way. And Janek and I, well…’ She shrugged coyly.

‘Listen, Zosia. You have no idea what you are talking about. This has all come from Janek, hasn’t it? He’s just using you. Please believe me. He’s dangerous. He’ll take what he wants and do what he wants – I mean today, if it hadn’t been for Wojtek, I don’t know what would have happened.’

‘Wojtek? That bear? God, Lena. You’re like a child. You tell yourself stories all the time. You told me what you had been like in the gulag, and you did it too in Uzbekistan, muttering to yourself, going off inside your head and making up an alternative reality. And now with this bear. Yes, he’s a bear. But I know you, I know you’ve probably decided he’s more than that. Let me guess, he’s your friend and he understands you, and you’ve probably thought up all these things he’s done and he hasn’t done them at all? See, I know you.’

‘Nurse!’ a patient called out.

‘I have to go, Lena. Good luck and take care of yourself.’

I stood, watching her, feeling utterly helpless. How could I get her to listen? How could I make sure Janek never did this again?

In that moment, there were no answers for me. I know it sounds odd, but I simply turned and left and went about doing my job. I went and pretended that everything was fine, because, well, quite frankly, there was no other choice.

* * *

The days blurred into one another under the relentless Egyptian sun, each morning beginning with the same coarse sand in my boots and the low rumble of engines waiting to be coaxed back to life.