Page 76 of Specter Bred

"I don't want to talk about it, Boy Scout."

"Well, I do," he said, unusually frustrated. "He’s right! You're so focused on what Graves thinks of you, you've lost the reason you're here!"

"I'm sure you're about to tell me what my reason is," I said, rolling my eyes.

"To be a specter, Maeve. To be the best in Arca."

Suddenly, embarrassment crept in.

Hayes was right.

When Command tapped me for Specter training, it had been the highest point of my career. Fuck, maybe my entire life, if I was being honest. I was the first female alpha selected in seven years.

For once, every brutal hour, every sacrifice, every time I'd had to work twice as hard just to be taken half as seriously had amounted to something.

I'd felt vindicated, like all that effort had finally been worth it.

And then Graves came along and shattered that feeling.

"I don't understand why you let him rattle you so much,” Hayes said, leaning forward.

"And I don't understand how he rattles you so little!"

"Why would he?" he asked.

"Because he's a Specter unit leader!"

"Yeah, and?"

"Because he decides whether you make it onto his team!"

Hayes leaned back slightly.

"Maybe. But he doesn't decide my worth. I stopped caring what Graves thought of me the moment he underestimated me. The same moment he admitted to wanting me out."

He paused in deep thought.

"I know what I'm worth, Maeve."

There wasn't an ounce of arrogance in his voice, just certainty. The kind of certainty I wasn't sure I'd ever possessed, even if I was an alpha.

"If Graves can't see that, that's his problem."

I looked away.

Hayes continued on.

"Of course, being selected by an instructor matters. Everybody wants that. Everybody wants to become a Specter." His expression softened. "But if I'm trusting somebody with my life, I want more than a slot on their team."

I frowned.

"I want a captain who believes in me. I want somebody who sees my strengths and knows how to use them. Somebody who values what I bring to the table."

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

Then Hayes tilted his head and asked, "Don't you?"

The question caught me off guard. Of course I did. I'd just never thought about it that way. I'd spent so long trying to earn Graves's approval that I'd never stopped to ask whether he was earning mine.