Page 14 of Carter

He was my everything.

I press my thumb on the side entry pad of Barbells.

I thought we were soulmates. Destined by the stars to be together. Forever.

What. Have. I. Done.

Exhausted, drained, I pass through the door of the gym. The lock clicks behind me. I find a mat in the corner of the room. I dump my bags on the floor. I curl up on top of the mat, shoving the duffle bag underneath my head for a pillow.

I cry myself to sleep.

5

Carter

I’ll have to teach her class today. There’s no way she’ll show up after last night.

She was so… angry.

I was devastated we were breaking up. She was furious.

Sometimes I just don’t understand her.

It’s four forty-five a.m., and I’m unlocking the door of Barbells. I’m exhausted, drained. I didn’t have the heart to tell John and Mary what had happened, so I just waited, watching from the back garden as Sasha packed her things.

Through the window, I saw her face when she spotted what awaited her on the dresser. The look of disgust was so clear. In that moment I knew this breakup was for good. That the Bachman lifestyle would never be for her. She stormed out the gate and was gone.

The room was trashed. Her ring sat on her name on the strap.

I bought the brown leather beauty months ago. Hid it in the back of the closet. Restrained myself—so many times—from taking it out and lashing her behind. Thinking she wasn’t quite ready. Had I waited too long to present it? Or had it been too soon?

My heart told me it wasn’t the when of it all—it just wasn’t meant to be.

Hindsight is twenty-twenty. If I’d known then what I know now, perhaps things would have ended differently. But there is only one thing I’m sure of in this whole mess—it’s over.

I’ve barely slept.

I walk into the gym and my breath catches in my throat. Sasha is curled up in a ball, sleeping on a mat. Her bags are everywhere. The duffle she’d packed last night is resting under her head. I step closer. Her face is tearstained. Her closed eyes look puffy. Her nose red.

She looks so pitiful, I long to carry her home. Wrap her in her favorite quilt. Make her hot chocolate. The kind with the whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles on top that she loves so damn much. Her lower lip pouts if I forget to put them on.

My baby girl.

My gut tightens. A pang zings through my chest. She’s not mine anymore.

She’s just another employee. I nudge her with my foot. I growl, “Get up.”

She startles at my abrupt wakeup. Her eyes blink open. She sleepily yawns. “Carter?”

The way she says my name, it’s like nothing’s changed.

I want to hold her. Take her. Right there on the mat. Put her on her hands and knees, dig my fingers into her hips and fuck all this nonsense right out of her. Instead, I flick all the switches up. The room floods with bright light. “Get the hell up. You have a class arriving in ten minutes.”

I don’t even look at her. I leave her in the gym. Head to my office in the back of the building.

I slam the door. I sit at the desk. I put my head in my hands.

She wasn’t supposed to be here today.