Page 19 of Midnight Creed

Or was that part of the plan? Had it been Dora’s intention the entire time? To wait until the last weeks and throw in a delay?

“What exactly are you saying, Dora?”

Another shrug, like none of this was a big deal. “I think it would be a good idea for you to reevaluate your priorities.”

“You’re demanding I stop seeing Jason.”

“Would it hurt to give Willie your full attention? Or do you really need the sex?”

Taylor blinked. It felt like a slap across the face. She swallowed the first words that came to mind. How could they even be having this conversation?

“Mom, you’re here!”

Will came around a corner. He was stuffing items into his backpack even as he made his way across the room.

Before Taylor could respond to either of them, Dora caught her eyes and added, “Just something to think about. You know, before the end of the year and the next court hearing.”

13

“What were you and Nanna arguing about?” Will asked.

“Arguing?” Taylor looked up at the rearview mirror and met his eyes. “We were just talking.”

His hair was tousled, the cowlick even more pronounced. His T-shirt was wrinkled. He looked like he’d just crawled out of bed. But he had his seatbelt buckled and his backpack secured beside him. Already settled in, he was digging out a notebook and pen.

This fall after his growth spurt, Will had put up a fuss about still having to sit in the backseat of vehicles. He didn’t want to be “treated like a baby” anymore. Besides, he told her, Nanna let him sit up front...sometimes.

Now Taylor wondered if that was one of the lies Dora was referring to. Letting him sit upfront didn’t seem like something Dora would allow.

“What were you talking about?”

“Nothing you need to be concerned about,” she told him, when she really wanted to ask how much he’d heard. Then she added. “Just grown-up stuff.” She had used this excuse before, and it usually satisfied him. Today, it seemed to do the same.

His head swiveled to the construction site and the equipment at the end of the block. There were always new homes going up out here. Bigger and grander, with two-story entrances in front and enclosed swimming pools in the back.

Bulldozers had stripped down a fresh line of trees from the forest that backed up to the development. They seemed intent on pushing deeper and deeper into the woods. It was as if they wanted to get farther away from the neighborhood on the other side of the highway. That community, called Woodriver, was much older than this one. It was a well-established working-class neighborhood with small houses interspersed with double-wide trailers. Taylor couldn’t help thinking the contrast couldn’t be starker.

She glanced in the rearview mirror again, and now Will’s eyes and attention were tilted down. He was already drawing. His hand took broad strokes with the pen.

Though he seemed mature about so many things, she had to remind herself he was only seven. After everything she’d put him through, she didn’t want him to worry there might be yet another delay in his coming to live with her full-time. A knot began in her stomach, just imagining his disappointment.

This was all her fault. She couldn’t believe she’d surrendered custody of her son. To be fair, she wasn’t the same person back then. When she returned from Afghanistan, all she longed for was a piece of normal, only to discover she was pregnant. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if she and Mike could have carved out a life together. But his tour of duty hadn’t ended yet. They got married at a courthouse, promising they’d do a real wedding when he returned. Two months later, he was dead.

Mike wasn’t the love of her life. The grief wasn’t what did her in. She wished it was. No, it was the unexpected nightmares that sent her into the night running through the dark streets, pounding the asphalt to take the place of the sound of helicopters bringing more wounded.

In her nightmares, she couldn’t stop their bleeding. She worked all night trying to find the pieces to put them back together again. Back then, she woke to sweaty sheets that she mistook for pools of blood until she turned the lights on.

As a nurse, she recognized PTSD, but she hadn’t come up with a way to treat herself. Instead, she resorted to how they’d handle the daily trauma in Afghanistan. She’d learned to cope like the rest of her team. Vodka.

It wasn’t such a problem that she couldn’t quit, and she did quit while she was pregnant. A beautiful baby boy should have brought enough joy to silence the nightmares. Unfortunately, PTSD didn’t work that way. Will just reminded her of how very broken she was.

Taylor blinked and shook her head. Driving over the I-10 bridge, she took in the sparkling waters of Escambia Bay. That was one thing she loved about this place. She couldn’t go far without seeing water. Large bodies of water. Living on Pensacola Beach had helped maintain her sanity throughout this.

The small apartment above Howard’s marina shop felt more like home than anywhere she had lived in the past ten years. She counted it as good fortune that she had snagged the place. She could run every day on along the Gulf of Mexico, listening to the waves and feeling the spray of salt water. And she felt safe. Howard made sure of that.

No, she wouldn’t let Dora’s snide remark make her second-guess her choice and the decisions she was making for herself and for Will.

A rustling from the backseat made her check the rearview mirror.