Page 102 of Hearts on the Mend

I’m fucking exhausted. I had the opportunity to take on a few extra shifts this week, and I jumped at the chance. It’ll be close, but I think I have just enough saved to put toward a new furnace before the real cold snaps start.

“You take your time,” she says before I hear her pad away.

I sit up, wiping the drool from my cheek, double-checking my phone. When I came home from my shift, the Murphys were waiting, excited to spend time with Ruby.

Shrugging on a deep-green cardigan over my overalls, I creep downstairs. Sloane and Izzy are laughing in the kitchen when I step in.

“Feeling better?” Izzy asks.

“At least possibly human.”

Sloane raises her iced coffee toward me in salute. “That’s a start. There’s a coffee for you in the fridge.”

Ruby left a Post-it Note on it with a big smiley face.

Izzy peels apples at the table. “Ruby may have had a few too many cider donuts, but it’s all Jack’s fault.” She pushes the nearly empty box toward me. “But if you want one, they’re fresh from The Wharf House.”

“Thanks.” I plop one into my mouth just as Kathleen comes in from the back deck with an empty platter.

“Ruby was an angel, as always. She’s helping Jack and Ethan in the barn. Burgers will be ready in a few more minutes.”

The oven timer goes off, and Sloane takes out a tray of french fries. I whirl around, a smile playing on my lips. This has become my life—this level of chaos. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it.

I love it.

Even though Nolan isn’t here, the rest of the Murphys have accepted Ruby and me as their own. If he ever comes home again, it might be awkward, but for now, we all don’t talk about it.

Except for Annie. She texts me when she hears from him, usually when he’s back to base and off another fire. It’s easier. That voicemail of his is still on my phone. It gutted me then, still does. But when I miss him, I curl up and listen to it. I pretend he’s still here worrying over the woodstove or complaining that I ran my gas tank to E again.

“You spoil me and Ruby.”

All three women swing their gazes toward me as I awkwardly chew on my donut.

“What?” I ask around the last bite.

“We’re not going to hold it against you that Nolan was an asshat and left.” Sloane swirls her cup around, the ice sloshing against the sides. Otherwise known as sweet music to my ears. “You’re stuck with us now.”

Izzy sets down her knife, tilting her head. “No offense, Kathleen. The boys are awfully hardheaded.”

“Ha, you don’t say?” Kathleen snags an apple slice from the bowl. “None taken. Not sure how you and Sloane do it.”

Sloane and Izzy only smile at one another, and I’m hit with another wave of grief. It’s hard to describe what moving through the world has been like since Nolan left.

It’s been the best six months of my life, and the worst.

Best because Ruby and I have made a life here. We’re making this our home, and even though my mom was disappointed not to have us head back to New York, I know it’s the right call for us.

For me.

And the worst because it’s weirdly empty. I can’t describe that feeling to anyone else because from the outside, it looks like the opposite. I play bingo with Bridget and June on Wednesday nights, hang out with Izzy and Sloane. I’ve started baking for Ethan a few mornings a week, testing recipes for the restaurant menu. I go to yoga on Saturday mornings while Richie and Kathleen take Ruby for their weekly breakfast dates at Seas the Day.

We’re busy. We’re happy.

And my heart is still broken, and I’m not sure how I’m going to move on.

“Mom, come quick!” Ruby slides into the doorway, clutching onto the casing so she doesn’t fall over. Her eyes are wide.

“What’s the matter?” I ask.