Page 44 of A Courage of the Chosen

My upward strike is swift, the sword moving through the air in a blur of movement. But Elsie is ready for me, and brings her own down as she spins out of my reach.

Our weapons thud, sending vibrations up my arms. She grows stronger by the day, and I consider it a privilege to be one of the people who get to help her discover exactly what she’s capable of.

“Careful what you wish for,” I retort, as she comes at me with her shield guarding her body, just the way I showed her, and her short sword aimed for my gut.

Chapter 13

Elsie

During that afternoon, the only focus is crafting my light and mist, and the way my training sword clangs against Callahan’s. And for a brief time, I feel a little like myself again. There’s no war, no secrets, just my power flowing and the rhythm of my movements.

Callahan’s holding back, but that hasn’t meant that I’ve been able to get past his solid defenses.

Whatever I throw at him, he’s prepared for. Even when I summon more of my magic and do my best to shape it into weapons to use against him, he meets it head-on.

He pauses every now and again to give me guidance on using my light, how it works differently to the mist, and how I need to be more considered when I channel it. It’s remarkable how much control he has over something he’s spent so much time repressing.

It weakens a wielder, and as we practice with mist and light, Callahan offers advice on the best way to use it in battle without it draining my strength to the point that I would be vulnerable.

He shares what it feels like for him when he’s nearing that line. “Every movement begins to feel sluggish, my muscles cramp, and my body will plead for rest.”

A droplet rolls down the side of his temple as he comes at me again. “That’s when I pull back my light and keep pushing. When it’s life or death, you can’t go too near that edge, Elsie.”

“Okay,” I pant.

When I had the Craobh, my light always felt like a vast, bottomless pool that I could wield until my breath gave out, so I soak in his words with a renewed focus, because I don’t intend on dying without it.

I search for that boundary where my body tiptoes toward collapse, yet I never find it. When I think I’m nearing the point where my light should start to flicker under the strain, that frozen force surges through me with a fresh wave of energy, renewing my strength and my magic that becomes more precise. There’s a lethality to it that I haven’t sensed before.

The darkest parts of my heart scream to the surface with each wave. The part of me that wants blood. The voice is almost too loud to ignore.

Kill them all.

Watch it burn.

Find him.

End this.

Over and over again it makes demands, and the small reprieve I thought I’d found disappears, like there’s a tiny devil dragging up my most vicious thoughts and planting them at the forefront of everything. When it whispers the desires that I tell myself don’t belong to me, that new bond in my chest tingles with awareness, as though there’s a window between us and Tavish is watching me.

“So powerful, my queen.”

My blood turns frigid as his voice sounds in my mind. “Just think of the things we can do together.”

Tavish continues to talk with each blast of power. I ignore him like I did the beast I beat back so many times when I was biding my time in Morven. It takes everything in me to make sure it doesn’t show on my face, or down the other connection that exists at the very heart of me.

It’s surprisingly easy to separate the two bonds. One is warm and comforting, like taking off your bra at the end of the day. The other is icy cold. Filled with darkness and fear and all the things I want to keep buried and hidden.

They exist within me equally, and while I can tell the difference between them, controlling how they impact me is a different story.

When the darkness in me is almost running riot, I draw back, and wrestle to restrain what thunders through my body and soul.

Callahan watches me attentively, like he always does, but I don’t think he knows what’s really going on.

You better hope he doesn’t know.

My eyes roll, masked by my movements as Callahan comes at me with a speedy swipe of his sword, and I bring my shield up high to deflect his attack, lashing out with a boot meant for his ribs.