Page 172 of A Legacy of the Light

Chapter 41

Tavish spends the night with me. I toss and turn, and even with the comfort of his body in the bed next to me, I find little rest.

Eventually, Tavish pulls me into him and holds me, saying nothing until I fall into a light sleep.

The next morning is overcast and bleak. Just like my mood. Tavish and I choose similar outfits: all black, and warm enough to keep the chill away since we will be camping, but not too thick that the spring sun will make us sweat as we ride.

“What will happen when we cross the barrier?” I ask Tavish over the breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast that we made together.

He places his mug of coffee down. “The house I own is a short hike from where the barrier opens in the human world. Once we get there, I will need to contact someone to sort you a passport to get you back to New York. That should take a couple of days, and then we can book a flight.”

I nod as I poke the last remnants of food around on my plate. “And what happens when I’m back home?”

Tavish watches me intently, searching for an answer. We both know what happens once he’s helped me get home. We go our separate ways. Never to see each other again.

Silence stretches between us, confirming what I’ve known in my heart since Raghnall told me I was leaving.

This is it. This all the time we get. I’m so angry at myself for wasting those five months. We could have been so much more if I had trusted Tavish sooner. If I had let him in as I had Reyne.

“I haven’t even packed anything,” I say, needing to take my mind away from the path it has started to go down.

“Reyne took care of that yesterday. She even made sure you have your Christmas whales.” He attempts a joke to lessen the tension brewing around me.

“Oh,” is all I can say.

Tavish sighs and stands from the small table in my living room. “Are you finished with breakfast?”

“Yes, thank you,” I reply softly.

“We need to leave soon,” he says as he cleans our dishes in the sink.

“I know,” I reply.

We need to be in the stables ready to leave by eight to make the most of the daylight before we reach Lassodie tonight. After that, we will camp for two nights in the Davoch before we reach the town of Claver. There we will spend our final night before hiking to the barrier the next morning.

“Would you like a few minutes alone?” he asks.

“Yes please.”

He lowers to kiss me gently. “I’ll see you at the stables.”

I watch him retreat through the door and glance around the rooms that have been a home and a haven while I started to heal. I stand from the table and walk to the floor-to-ceiling glass windows, taking in the view for a final time and admiring the tranquility of the lake and mountains.

Emotions war for dominance. Sadness to be leaving a beautiful place with people who have helped me see life beyond my pain. Excitement to be seeing my family back home. Guilt for not being able to do more to stop the rebels. Failure for not finding a solution, even with opening the Darrow chambers.

And trepidation as to what happens next. Since I’m Seelie, my memory of Elfayne will remain intact. I’m supposed to go back to my life and wait while the threat of the Dorche is dealt with. I’m supposed to pretend none of this ever happened. The prospect of that makes me uneasy.

Tavish said there are Seelie in the human world. Maybe I can help find them, help find some answers. Maybe I can help Tavish with that task. Maybe I don’t have to go through that barrier and leave this world behind.

I won’t walk through that barrier and leave this world behind.

I wander around the rooms, lingering in the bathroom to collect Granny’s journal and to say goodbye to the bath. I laugh out loud at my own ridiculousness, but I love that bath and will miss it enormously.

I hesitate in the hallway and look back across the room. I’m grateful I got to spend some time here, that I was allowed to see something of the life Granny might have had if things had turned out differently for her. Of what my life might have been if I had been born and raised here instead of New York.

With a final sigh, I leave these rooms and head down to the stables.

Fraser is waiting for me with a saddled Mabel. Tavish, a large sword now strapped down his back, is making sure Atlas is set for our journey. A small unit of armed guards is preparing to leave with us.