Page 126 of A Legacy of the Light

I pinch myself on the soft skin of my inner arm. I have done this a few times recently to check that this is still my life, and not the most fucked-up dream I’ve ever had.

“Yep, still real,” I hiss aloud to the empty room.

I close the book and place it on the coffee table Reyne recently added to the furniture in my room. With a sigh, I rest my head on the back of the sofa and close my eyes.

I try to quiet my thoughts and shove my feelings into that box in the back of my mind. Is it the healthiest way of dealing with the situation? No. But it’s the only way I have been able to compartmentalize everything and carry on.

Placing my hand across my chest to focus on my breathing, I pull in slow deep breaths and pay attention to how my body moves and feels. On the feel of my heart beneath my palm.

In those months after Mom died, I tried meditating to help with the crippling anxiety attacks. My grief counsellor told me it helped them when they lost their sister, but I found it really difficult to stay out of my mind and in my body.

I hope it can help me now.

I hold each breath for five seconds and slowly release. Every time my mind wanders, I bring it back to the feel of the air moving in and out of my lungs.

Eventually, my thoughts calm, and I count each inhale and exhale. I repeat and count my breaths to ten four times before letting my mind wander where it chooses. Thoughts come and go but they don’t feel as big as they did a few moments ago.

I slowly open my eyes and relish in the peacefulness of the room, my mind, and the view. The snow is falling thick and fast beyond the windows, and it’s turned the mountain into a winter wonderland. I rise from the sofa and stand by the fire I lit when I got back to my room and just watch it fall, letting the quiet wrap me in its gentle embrace.

Chapter 31

A few minutes past seven, I knock on Tavish’s door. He said it wasn’t a formal dinner so I opted for dark brown leggings and a cream sweater that hits my thigh.

My face is makeup-free, and I’ve swept my hair into a high ponytail in an attempt to look like I’m not trying too hard.

Tavish pulls the door open and I’m relieved when my outfit choice matches his. He’s wearing dark gray cotton pants that look an awful lot like a Seelie take on sweatpants, and a light blue cotton shirt with the sleeves pushed to his elbows that brings out the tan of his skin.

Prince Tavish in his royal finest is devastating. But casual Tavish? Completely disarming. I like that he feels he can be himself around me.

“Are you going to invite me in then?” I smirk, realizing that neither of us have said anything since we are too busy checking each other out.

Tavish takes my hand with a grin and pulls me across the threshold, closing the door behind us. He doesn’t let go as he leads me into the open-plan living area and to the deep red sofa in front of the fireplace.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asks, letting my hand go when I take a seat at one end.

I shake my head and he sits right next to me. I flick off the boots I had put on and turn so I face him, tucking my legs underneath me.

“So how was your trip?”

“Long. There’s not much to be done about the Dorche until we find a way to defeat them. Most of the meetings we had were the same shite as the meetings we have here. No one wants to take any action because they’re scared of the Brollachan.” He huffs and rests his head on the back of the sofa, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Can you blame them? They can’t be killed and people are scared.”

“I suppose.” Tavish falls into silence and stares into the flames. “Can we not talk about that tonight? It’s all I’ve done for the last three weeks.” He angles his head so he can look at me.

I rest my arm on the back of the sofa and prop my head on my hand. “What do you want to talk about then?”

“You. What have you been up to?”

“Not a lot. I had dinner with the Macleods after the ball, and have spent most days with Finneus in the mornings and Reyne in the afternoons.”

“How was the lovely Lady Garia?”

I chuckle. “She’s mostly ignored me.”

Tavish smiles. “Lucky for you.”

I nudge him with my knee. “She’s not that bad. Hector is great and has insisted I come for dinner every week now.”