Page 60 of While I’m Still Here

“Pink ribbons.”

Colin grimaces. “I'm surprised you survived.”

“Barely.”

He opens the passenger door for me, but I don't get in immediately. “I met a man who had breast cancer.”

Colin looks at me, confusion written all over his face. “A man?”

“Exactly.” His expression tells me everything I need to know. “You didn't know either.”

“I mean...” Colin pauses. “I suppose I knew men had breast tissue, but no. Not really.”

“Neither did he.”

I climb into the car and wait until Colin gets behind the wheel before telling him about Marcus, then I tell him why Marcus still goes.

Colin is quiet for a while. “He goes every week just in case another man turns up?”

“Most weeks.”

“Even though he hates it?”

“He especially hates the cupcakes… and the pink.”

“Understandable.”

I take a sip of coffee and look out of the window. Colin starts the engine. “So,” he says eventually, “you're never going back?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Right.”

I turn towards him, and he’s smiling. “Don't,” I warn him.

“I didn't say anything.”

“Your face did. It’s all smug and annoying.”

“Interesting. But it sounds like you're going back.”

“I didn't say that.”

“You've spent the last ten minutes telling me about a man you met there.”

I narrow my eyes. “I was educating you about male breast cancer.” Colin's smile widens. “Fuck off.”

He pulls away from the kerb, and I settle into my seat and stare out of the window, but my mind drifts back to the room behind us.

To Janet's red lipstick, the woman six weeks out from surgery and to the cupcakes I refused to eat and secretly regret refusing because they actually looked quite good. And to Marcus Bennett sitting by the window every week in a room he doesn't particularly want to be in, making sure that if another man ever walks through the door, he won't have to be the only one.

Claire told me I only had to go once… I went. I hated it.

Mostly.

“So what day is it next week?” Colin asks.

I continue looking out of the window. “Thursday.”