Page 61 of Scoring Lessons

“Among other things,” she replied vaguely.

There was more to the story she was willing to let on, that much I was aware of. But I knew when to pressure her, and this wasn’t the right time.

“Wait.” I furrowed my brows when realization hit me right in the chest. “The things you highlighted…” I grazed my tongue across my upper teeth as I tried to figure out how to ask the question the most delicate way possible. “Are those like the things you want to…?”

She stared at me, mouth parted in disbelief. “That’s a personal question, Wesley. I am not answering that.”

“I don’t know, Livvie…” A small chuckle escaped me. “I think we’re past that point.”

She started playing with the hem of her sweater in contemplation, then she let out a resigned sigh. “It’s the things I’d like to try.”

“Try…again?”

She shook her head as she sank her teeth into her plush bottom lip. A pathetic part of me wished I were the one doing it instead. “Some. But to be honest, I haven’t done most of them before.”

“But you highlighted oral,” I said, trying not to sound baffled.

“Yes, and?” She exhaled the question. She scratched her neck, as if the conversation was giving her an allergic reaction.

“You’re telling me that in the seven years you were with Jack, he never gave you oral?”

“We tried it once.” She scrunched her nose like the memory was nothing to write home about. “And it was terrible.”

“How so?”

“I’m not answering that.”

I rolled my eyes. “Now who’s the prude?”

She rubbed her temples with a long sigh. “He made it seem like a chore, I guess. I was pressured into faking my orgasm.”

“Jesus.” I shook my head like it could help me understand. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say he had no problem asking for blow jobs, though.”

Her shoulders lifted in a small, uncertain shrug.

With a heavy exhale, I rubbed my face. “Un-fucking-believable.”

“It’s not like⁠—”

I lifted my hand to stop her from speaking. “Don’t you dare defend him right now.”

She made the smart decision to listen to me.

“The idea of a list didn’t occur to me until I started reading this book.” She plopped herself on the bed like a starfish. “But it made me realize there were a lot of things I haven’t done, and I want to experience some fun casual dating with some even more fun casual sex. Is that so wrong?”

“No,” I admitted. “It isn’t. I’m…” The gulp I took was so painful, I let out a huge breath to ease the pain. “I’m proud of you for knowing what you want.”

It wasn’t an easy thing to do. To start from scratch and figure out who you were. She was so fucking brave for wanting to give it a try.

That was the Olivia I knew. Stubborn as a bull. Fiercely resilient.

She propped herself on the bed with her elbows, her eyes finding mine. They shone with hope and eagerness. And…hell. I couldn’t even lie to myself. My heart enjoyed the sight of them very much.

But the light quickly dwindled when she said, “The idea in theory sounds fun, but it’s not like I can experience these things with random people.”

I knit my eyebrows together. “What do you mean?”

Her shrug was casual, resigned. “The dating part I could probably do with strangers, but the sex part?” Her lips pursed in doubt. “It would need to be with someone I trust. Having that kind of intimacy can be vulnerable, you know? Doing it with a stranger doesn’t sit right with me.”