Page 118 of The Addict

Or why I couldn’t simply let him go.

I was waiting for my next class when I did it. I pulled my cell phone out and called him.

It rang once, and I hung up in fear.

I was such an idiot. I didn’t know what I was doing and I was kicking myself for reaching out. I couldn’t just leave well enough alone.

The truth was: I was worried about him, and I feared him being hurt again.

He protected me, in my most vulnerable moment. He saved me, and now I could feel the weight of a heavy debt on my shoulders, especially now that I had seen him injured.

It finally dawned on me that I wanted to protect him, too.

NOAH

The house felt oddly quiet as I stepped inside, and instantly it was clear that I was alone. The maids were likely on their breaks, and my brother had left a note on the dinner table saying he’d be back by six. I glanced at the clock. It was five fifty.

I dropped my backpack onto the floor and made my way to the bathroom, my body still sore and my muscles tense. I reached for the sleep medication, took two pills, and then flopped onto my bed, hoping for some comfort. Unfortunately, it didn’t come.

“Please me, Noah.”

The words echoed in my mind, a reminder of the deadweight I carried.

I found sleep, surprisingly. I dreamt of the rape, which was to no shock to me. In this nightmare, I was nine years old again. I felt the pain on repeat. David was seemingly never satisfied. When I woke up, all I could do was wonder what had changed in me since then. I had gone from a shrieking boy, begging his father to stop, to a young adult that hadn’t made a sound.

When did I grow so cold?

The muffled buzzing of my phone broke me from my thoughts and post sleep fog. I fumbled through my pockets to try and find it. Groggily I answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Damian.”

I blinked the sleep away from my eyes and glanced over to my clock. It was almost midnight.

I cleared my throat. “I thought you were going to be home earlier?”

“I got hung up at work. Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Hm. Odd. Usually you’re begging for something to eat by now.” Damian chuckled.

I smiled. He sounded perky.

“Mom home?” he asked.

I closed my eyes, listening throughout the emptiness of the house for a hint of noise. The light humming of our mother’s voice from downstairs and the murmur of TV gave me relief.

“Yeah.”

“Alright then,” Damian paused. “Did I wake you or something, Noah?”

Damian was too smart for my liking.

“Yeah, I was tired from...school...”

“I apologize.”